Christmas Sanity.

Christmas tend to be rather hectic with lots of running around, multiple shopping trips, floors covered with tape and wrapping paper, last minute cleaning and baking frenzy.

This year, again, I'm trying to retain some more sanity than before. Since Christmas Eve is on Wednesday and not on Tuesday as I've thought I have one extra day to sort everything out, which is a relief. Even buying presents is surprisingly easy this year, despite my mid-December panic.

Usually Christmas is very stressful and quite frankly I tend to be glad that Christmas is over. This year I just would like to have Christmas that are enjoyable, when I make most of this time, despite the fact that I'm not particularly keen on family gatherings. I refuse to be whipped into this frenzy. At the end of the day it's not a clean house or a stack of presents under the Christmas tree or the tree itself that makes Christmas special.

Home.

Finally, I'm back home for Christmas. It's good to be back, although hearing only Polish around is still a bit of a shock and I need to stop myself speaking English to my parents. But I'll get used to it in a few days, hopefully.

This is the first Christmas break in years when I don't need to revise or anything, so today was a bit of a long day with not much to do. Since I don't rest by doing absolutely nothing, I feel rather tired already. This is a novel situation for me and I clearly need to learn how to deal with time off. In search for some meaningful occupation for the next two weeks I might go crazy baking to indulge my family and finally finish reading Anna Karenina. Or maybe embark on a few arts and crafts projects. Of course, I still have some vac scheme applications to deal with, so these will be attended to shortly.

In the mean time, I'll carry on drinking tea and eating homemade pączki. 

"The Wave"

While I was away from the blog, our play had a premiere in Leiden. It's been extremely stressful, especially on Monday when we had no time for a dressed rehearsal, because the technical one took 4 hours. In any case, the show was a success. I felt so proud of the cast, because they've come a very long way since we've started rehearsals in October. Yes, I'm really happy now that all this work has paid off and that we have produced something great. Here are some pictures from the performance:

 

 

A little bit of anthropology.

It's interesting how the way people use language shows their attitudes to others. I came across a phrase 'going Dutch' (on this see below) before I came to Netherlands and since then read a bit around the topics, making some interesting findings.

In Paxman's book to which I referred in one of the earlier posts, he talks about the animosity between the English and the French reflected in the phrases used by the two nations. So for instance the English would use a term 'French kiss' to describe, objectively, bizarre (though undoubtedly pleasurable) practice of sticking one' tongue to another person's mouth. Or 'French disease' to refer to syphilis. Obscene drawings were called 'French postcards', whereas prostitutes were referred to as 'French Consular Guard'. Not to forget excusing swearing by  saying 'pardon my French'.  The French, however, didn't fail to counter this with expressions such as le vice anglais (flagellation), avoir les anglais (menstruation), filer à l'anglaise (equivalent for 'taking French leave') and damné comme un Anglais.

With regard to the Dutch, the English also devised a few phrases, dating from the time when the Dutch became England's main trading rivals. There's 'Dutch courage' that I've just learnt, meaning getting courage from intoxication with alcohol. And of course 'double Dutch' as a hard to understand language, gibberish in short. There is also another one, 'going Dutch' (with variations such like 'Dutch date' and 'Dutch treat'), a practice of paying for yourself in a restaurant for instance, which probably reveals the perception of the Dutch as rather stingy people.

Language is such an interesting topic that I sometimes wish I had studied linguistics to have time to dig into it more. I remember the when I took Latin classes in high school I as really excited to find out the origin of some Polish words. And now I could learn about the sociological background of it. It's fantastic to do something else than law every now and then. For the sake of retaining sanity.

I love how I actually have time now to write posts like this, which do require some research etc.

Back on the Island!

I still don't understand why the Union flag was a necessity for this picture.

It was so good to be back in Oxford for a few days. When I arrived at the train station it just felt like being at home again. Strolling down the Cornmarket has never been so pleasurable, even in pouring rain and with crowds of tourists flooding around.

I managed to catch up with more people than I've actually expected and I had a wonderful time. I'm glad that I've actually went in the end, because I honestly didn't feel like it for quite a while. But it was fantastic. I feel like I'm repeating myself. Yes, I had loads of fun. There was a trip to the college bar, brunch in the dinning hall (best meal of the week), Tuesday breakfast with blueberry pancakes and a morning coffee in a Jericho cafe. Thanks to everyone who made my time in Oxford so special (you know who you are)!
And I even managed to go to the cinema and see 'The Imitation Game', such a good film (although I suspect that a small part of the reason I have enjoyed it so much is that I went by myself with only a bag of toffee popcorn to accompany me that afternoon).

I came back to Leiden with a suitcase full of crumpets and breakfast muffins dutifully bought for Captain America and three jars of mincemeat to make a stack of Christmas pies next month. It seems that I got my dose of Englishness to carry me through the next few months. Hooray!

Handful of time. At last!

Exam week is finally over!

Let's put it this way, I know finals next year will be worse, but I'm still glad I survived those exams. My brain feels drained, especially that last time I had to take exams was in the middle of my first year at uni, which was quite a while ago. So I guess I've just had some practice now (with more to follow next semester, fun times).

As I walked out of the exam this afternoon I thought 'gosh, what do I do with all this time now?' I'm done for the semester, so assuming I haven't failed any exam, I need to fill in the next over two months somehow. In sight I have a trip to Oxford, a potential trip to Munich at some point too, lots and lots of baking, arts and crafts and proper sleep. And of course I need to continue directing the play (premiere on Dec 8!). And do some revision for finals. But this is not fun at all, so I'd rather omit that one.

There is a stack of books in my room that wait to be read, so hopefully I get round to these. I expect prolonged tea times, with relaxing music in the background, stacks of biscuits and comfy pillows behind my back. At last!

Fluffy jumpers time.

If I was to choose between hot summer or a freezing cold winter, I'd go for the latter, mostly because it is a fluffy jumpers time.

I've written a short account on my feelings towards Christmas, but really I just wanted to share my new jumper, so I'll spare you reading of that terrible piece.

Doei!

Who am I?

11th November. It's Independence Day in Poland: the ultimate celebration of Polishness.

I'm reading The English. A Portrait of the People by Paxman at the moment. I was desperate for a book with no 'law' or 'legal' in a title to read in those scarce free moments and only this in the entire English bookstore seemed at all entertaining, so I bought it for 5 euros.

One of the chapter is entitled Funny Foreigners and it basically talks about the English dislike for other nations. The book is from 1999, so in the context of current deliberations as to the immigration policy and the EU treaty renegotiation, it acquires a new dimension, but anyway, I thought of me being a foreigner in the UK. As much as I assimilated with the culture, I still hold a Polish passport. But despite this passport I'ma foreigner in Poland too, because my mentality has changed a lot and I probably feel more foreign to Poland than England at this stage.

So today, as the entire Poland celebrates the independence regained after 123 years of annexation, I wonder who I am actually? I can wear a patriotic white and red pin on Nov 11th, but I'm equally enthusiastic about the Queen's jubilee (or the Royal wedding or the birth of another prince). This is a strange feeling of being neither here not there. Though I'm not entirely sure how important it is to identify yourself with a specific country nowadays. I mean we live in a global world and the mobility is so widespread that it's sometimes a matter of pure chance where you end up being born.

So if I got asked "who are you?" (kto Ty jesteś?), being Polish would probably not be the first thing that came to my mind. Maybe 6th or 7th, that's definitely more like it. And there's nothing wrong with it. It took me ages to deal with a feeling of some bizarre patriotic guilt. But what seems important to me now is not how much of a Pole I feel or are perceived as by other people. What is important is that if I wish I can go back to Poland that is free.

The biggest sign of dedication of a Polish girl.

Making pierogi for Captain American seemed a bit risky for me at first, but it was inevitable that he would be totally immersed in my Polishness at some point, so I gave it a shot. The problem with Polish food is that it is really eastern-European and I'm quite anxious about serving such things to people: not everyone is a fan of potatoes, cabbage and other things of that sort.

My mum makes pierogi in no time, but I decided not to risk my guest sitting around very hungry, so I allowed sufficient time for making this (it turned out not to be that time-consuming, but  anything could go wrong, especially that I've made them by self only once). Especially that I also had to coordinate making tiramisu at the same time. It was actually quite fun to do and to some extent even relaxing.

And here comes my pierogi adventure in pictures:

Potato peel dominated the kitchen at first.

Onions and bacon: not something that my mum adds to pierogi, but I though I would give it a go.

Potato-cottage cheese filling ready.

Dough in the making...

Cutting out circles.

Nearly there!

Done! Over 40 beautiful pierogi prepared to be boiled!

And the dinner's ready!

Yes, definitely making pierogi is one of the biggest signs of dedication of a Polish girl, especially that it results in a hurting back, tired legs and aching fingers (and flour being everywhere. As a point of advice, do not make these in black clothes). In any case, Captain America loved it all, which I accepted with a great relief. Next on the list are latkes! Om nom nom.

What I've learnt so far.

After two months in Leiden I can finally say that I really DO enjoy my year abroad. The start was rough, I must admit (and you could probably tell anyway), but, well, it's good. And I'm happy here. It's been a fruitful time in term of learning, not only in an academic sphere, but also life-wise. Everywhere we I go I learn something. And here are some thing that I've learnt thus far in Leiden.

- when in Rome, do as the Romans do -

Even when you're not in Rome, but in rather grim and wet Leiden. This includes riding your bike like crazy, not paying attention to people around you, being overly direct, not expecting to get exact change in a supermarket, and all sorts of things. It saves a lot of frustration, because you somewhat blend with the crowd, but I don't really think I want to blend in so much. Saying 'pardon' gives me away anyway.

- some things don't make any sense -

Especially questions in exams and assignments. Dunglish is not great and often incomprehensible even to me (and I can make sense of almost anything, trust me). So you get the idea how bad it it. Dropping in English sentences in the middle of a Dutch conversation does not make sense either. Or insisting upon replying to my emails in Dutch when I clearly don't speak Dutch.

- people may be unhelpful - 

Or actually, they will most certainly be unhelpful, because being helpful is not in the nature of people here. Don't get me wrong, I've met some utterly lovely people, just not that many. Although cheese people are always great. I'm not surprised, they're surrounded by so much delicious cheese!

- but there are some angels down here -

See cheese people above!

- not getting bitter is difficult -

Because there is so many things that I cannot stand and its just too easy to complain. And there always seem to be someone around ready to complain with me! So staying positive is definitely an issue, though this is not the first time I encounter this problem: I did complain a lot about Oxford in the past, but now I can't wait to be back (even with the prospect of finals) and can see how great it was.

- however, little things make life beautiful -

I mean for example a relaxed evening walk. Or a croissant with fig jam. In all fairness, I don't need that much to be happy. A few days ago I was waling down the main street and felt completely delighted at the crispiness of the air. It was almost like winter time, the sun was shining and I felt so comfy in my scarf. It was simple and beautiful. I love those moments.

- my life wasn't complete -

without this hat:

Now I can legitimately pretend I'm Mary Poppins! As you do, right? 

Halloween. Museum Night. More Parties.

Coming up with an idea for a Halloween costume was a pain. I wanted something witty, not expensive and which would not require multiple trips to a variety of shops. I thought about Mary Poppins, strawberry, some pun costumes, a Pokemon and all sorts of stuff. And then it was Wednesday afternoon and there was no more time to sort it out.

So I ended up with a little red riding hood costume. The entire process involved watching a handful of youtube videos, blog posts and other diy resources, a trip to a textile shop on the other side of the town and around 2 hours of sewing (plus over another hours of making subsequent fixes). Money-wise it was definitely a more efficient option, not so much in terms of time though. But at least I had an uncontaminated leisure time while doing it, since it is impossible to sew and read or do anything else at the same time without getting seriously hurt with a needle. And I have enough bodily injuries already.

The end effect.

Let us begin...

The hood nearly ready...

My wolf has grabbed me and off we went to one party which featured lychee-black olives eyeballs and delicious punch, and then to the next one featuring video games.

My floor lamp got dressed up too.

This obviously was not enough for me, so the next night we went to a Museum Night in Amsterdam. I must say it looked more like random parties in museums rather than a sort of museum night that I'm used to from back in Krakow, but it was fun nonetheless (though waking up for a rehearsal the next morning was not so much fun). 

And tonight the party continued with a half-birthday, very chilled celebration (mulled wine, homemade cake and cards against humanity- what could be better).

Honestly, I think that party-wise I'm done for this year. The last time I've been so busy having fun was probably around the freshers' week two years ago. Good break for being stuck under the pile of books.

And I love people's faces when I tell them I do law. This is my conclusion from these three evenings.

How about you MAKE some time?

So the times when I used to say that "I simply don't have time for that" are long gone. Because it's not about having time, it's about making time: nobody actually has time to give it away.

I'm extremely busy, in fact I could work 24/7 if I was really determined and there would be no worry that I run out of tasks to complete. But I still make time for things and people. I make time for joining a salsa class, Irish dance class, swimming session, rehearsals, baking sessions, a drink with friends, lazy mornings, sweet sessions, art projects, and all sorts of other stuff.

Every single time somebody tells me something along the lines of "I'm sorry I ignored your message for the past month, I didn't have time", it makes my blood boil. Are you serious people?! I mean, do you think I sit around doing nothing all days? This is extremely frustrating, not because I'm craving for having friends, but because I've expected a certain level of commitment and effort from certain people, and now I need to face a major disappointment.

Well, as my mum's taught me: a friend in need is a friend indeed.

But! It undoubtedly sad experience will not make me bitter, because I still believe it is worth investing in people what you have most precious: your time.

What I've been up to recently.

Finally, after what felt like absolutely ages but in fact was only a few days of rain, the sun decided to come out!

I must say that all this rain made me feel rather down: it was cold, grey, windy, I would not really go anywhere without getting completely soaked and generally it  was not fun at all. So I'm glad today was a bit brighter. My energy levels are definitely up compared to the last few days.

I'm currently revising for my Entrepreneurship and Innovation exam on Monday. I do understand more about business now than even a few days ago, but still some concepts remain rather alien to me. But the only thing I can do now is to keep going and read as much as possible.

Oh, and rehearsals. So yesterday was really frustrating, because the attendance level has gone so down that we could hardly find a scene to do, people had to cover for other characters and generally it was a mess. It's only over a month until the performances, so I hope we manage to be a bit more organised from now on. On the brighter side, it was probably the very first time I genuinely enjoyed just being with these people. Not as if all other meetings were awful, but this time I was just extremely happy. Plus I managed to get to the music club jamming session and listen to some fun stuff. Good evening indeed.

Back to creating value and growing ventures now!

How getting back onto Facebook reminded me why I've left.

Not having a Facebook account is sometimes inconvenient to say the least.

You know, you miss all the fancy events and all the funny videos people post and re-post on their walls, so that you turn out to be even more socially awkward when everyone talks about something like this and you simply have no idea what they talk about.

I can't quite remember when was the first time I've deactivated by account, I think it was half-way through my first year at uni and it was Lent or something of the sort, so I just disappeared from the thing. And I enjoyed it. So after some time I've just deleted the account completely.

Nothing major happened, though I had to train people to send me emails, because no, I don't get Facebook notification for lawyerly dinner you organised for next Friday, extra lectures and all other stuff.

Coming to Leiden , however, I've decided to have a bit of a comeback, because no-one sends emails here! This is terrible, at Oxford all of the societies will send you weekly emails with events etc, but here nothing like this exists, so convenience won over my deep conviction that Facebook is not great.

But after just over a month, I know why I left.

I found people are terribly insufficient when you try to sort out something via Facebook. It just takes absolutely ages to arrange meetings, divide the workload or generally do anything. Emails are so much faster, probably because they appear much more formal and people actually think before sending anything off. And this is absolutely fantastic.

And people just spend hours refreshing the home page, as if something fantastic was bound to happen. And it isn't, I promise. The saddest thing that I've seen was when I was in a restaurant and the couple sitting at the table next to ours spend the entire time we've been there with eyes glued to their phones. I honestly don't know where this world is going.

I really like this video, because it sums up what Facebook is really like. It simply makes you live other people's lives. Honestly, I don't get why people keep posting pictures on Facebook for instance. Pictures of food, pictures from holidays, pictures from their weddings, picture from parties, funerals, funfairs, pictures of their babies, boyfriends, cats, mothers, pictures of their bedrooms, shoes and whatever else you can think of. Why? No one is interested! Except of people constantly scrolling down their home page, but even they are not genuinely interested, they just want to see stuff because they have not enough to do.

Just to put it straight, I'm not going to make some sort of a crusade against Facebook, the thing is on the way to a collapse anyway. Those who were to join already joined and more and more people leave. But for God's sake, get off your phone every now and then!

Found on Pinterest. So true.

Yes, so I left Facebook to have more freedom and be more attentive to life. And I am as a result, because if you tell me something and I don't listen, I can't look it up among your Facebook posts. And I consider this a blessing.

How not to do it.

Efficient task management is an important. And I have an example of how not to do it.

So about a week ago I've sent out an email. The email had a form attached. The form had a mistake in it, so when I've realised that the next morning, I've sent another email, pointing out the mistake and enclosing another, this time correct, form. Having not received a reply, this morning I've sent another email, enclosing the form again. Just in case.

And this afternoon I received a reply. In fact, I received three replies.

So the first email said was in reply to my first email and the reply went along the lines that I've sent out a corrected form, so they will reply to the second email with the correct form, because there's no point in replying to this one.

The second email was to the point and dealt with my problem as explained in email one, but taking the corrected form from email two. It was quite a relief, but finally it looked that the issue can gain some momentum and be resolved.

And just as I thought this is all done and I'm all sorted, the the third email came just after the second one, saying that they have a backlog of about a week in emails, and this is why I had to wait for the reply in the previous email for a week.

So this was very efficient of them, given their backlog in emails, to reply to all my three emails within one afternoon using three separate emails. Someone seriously needs to reconsider the way work is organised in this office. I'm not at all surprised that they have a backlog of a week if they send multiple, absolutely useless replies to every single email their receive. Did you ever hear of prioritisation? It's an important skill. Better learn it.

Amsterdam.

Amsterdam is like a different world. 

I love how Amsterdam has a completely different feel than London for example. Or Warsaw. Or Berlin. It might be because of the canals, pretty buildings that survived hundreds of years or just an utterly international character of the city. 

 Amsterdam is so different from Leiden. Leiden is pretty, true, and really cosy, but it's a small town, let's face it. You cannot go around without bumping into someone you know. And it's great, but Amsterdam gives so much more opportunity to disappear somewhere for a few hours and just enjoying yourself. And, what is even better, Amsterdam does not feel that big at all. It still has little pretty streets, quiet cafes, lovely parks and everything that I'd dream of. And it's yet another place which actually feels like home, like kind of a place where I could live in the future. In one of those fantastic houses with big windows facing the canals, with fancy door knobs and a house cat. Not as if Leiden didn't have beautiful houses, but there's something about the atmosphere in Amsterdam that makes it really special.

Plus, Amsterdam is so much more varied than where I live now. Of course, there's an awful lot of international students in Leiden, but still the Dutch dominate. On the other hand, in Amsterdam you cannot walk five steps without hearing another language. And I love that, because I'm really used to an international environment. It's more interesting and more fun. And it does not feel that odd to be a foreigner myself. Actually, I felt quite in place there. ;)

 Also, I do recommend going there with someone who knows the city: there are so many hidden gems there. Or you may want to just walk around and stumble across some of them by yourself...

Say yes to everything!

Year abroad is such a time when you need to get out of your comfort zone and some try new things.

And so I did.

Starting with signing up to a salsa class, I've learnt to move my hips to the sides and in the shape of eights, I got used to being awkwardly close to strangers while dancing in pairs and in the meantime mastered the art of small talk.


And then I've joined a theatre club, because I've always wanted to and never really had time to commit to it. Given that I can squeeze all the required work into three days if I need to, I can with no regrets sacrifice over 6 hours a week for rehearsals. And so I became a co-director. Getting outside of my comfort zone is in full flow here since I have no excuses for not joining all the acting exercises and games. It's a big thing for me, because I'm self-conscious and really not comfortable with doing silly things. But hey-ho, I've ended up dancing on a chair and telling really weird stories last time, so there is some progress.

But of course this was not enough for me, so I've joined Zumba and now I jump around like crazy once a week. It makes me disgustingly sweaty, overly tired, gasping for air and ridiculously happy.

Also, I said yes to entrepreneurship and innovation, a subject that makes very little sense, but at least it's not law. I'm not entirely sure what benefits I'll draw out of it, but I can now make an elevator pitch, write a simple marketing plan and do other stuff that I had no idea about beforehand.

I'm not sure what else I say yes to this year, but I can't wait to see. I love it.

Fine.

Today I've realised that I don't need to be fine.

All the time I keep telling people that everything is fantastic, only to avoid hurting or worrying them.

But I don't need to be fine. I can allow myself to be completely shattered. To cry, moan, scream, throw pillows across the room, eat ridiculous amounts of chocolate (or dried cranberries as a healthier option), crawl under my duvet and hold tight onto my plush turtle.

It's fine to do so, because I don't need to be fine. I've realised that I hold problems, troubles and insecurities of so many people, that I can every now and then be human myself. And being human sometimes hurts,  right?

Bloody Americans.

I've been warned, right? They've told me there will be an excessive number of Americans in Leiden.

What I haven't expected was that I'd actually end up hanging out with Americans.

And now I spend my days trying to get into their heads how to pronounce English words correctly. Or which words to use.

Tuna. Basil. Biscuit. Washing powder. Queue. Fringe.

It's absolutely amazing how we are supposed to speak the very same language, but we end up saying different things, though actually meaning the same. Sort of. My horizons suddenly expanded in an unexpected direction. I must say it's somewhat disturbing, I thought I'm fairly fluent in English, even when it comes to colloquialisms, but damn not, still have soooo much to learn. The most recent word I've learnt is crunked, which quite frankly sounds as if someone tried to say cracker with a stuffed nose and an aching tooth. Anyway, apparently this word will come in handy soon (beware!), which I'm ready to believe after years spent  in student accommodation. Getting crunked seems like a perpetual state here.

So yes, I'm spending my days trying to stick to proper English. And putting up with the American way of being (loud and overly expressive (passionate?), as I see it). So far, I absolutely love it. Especially that my Englishness is magnified around them. As of yet my inner introvert hasn't been driven crazy, probably thanks to drinking excessive quantities of tea. Only tea can keep me sane now.

Size mini.

I have small breasts. And I'm absolutely fine with that. I had a bit of a  shaky attitude towards it as the end of primary school when I insisted on buying bras in sizes far too large for me. This sort of continued into the middle school, although much less so. 

So I'm fine with my small breasts. Quite frankly I'm rather fond of them.

But lingerie producers are not, apparently.

So I go to a shop and look at bras. There are some pretty ones, with lace, sparkling little diamonds and other fancy features. When I'm already all too excited that I've found my size, I constantly discover yet another wonderful feature.

Push-up. 

Sometime also a plunge version with even more push-up.

Seriously?

Do I look like someone who wants to pretend my breasts are ten times bigger than they really are?

Seriously?

As in, the bigger the better?

Somehow I don't think so. I'm quite content with my body, including my breasts. Indeed, I can also point to a number of advantages of having size mini, but I won't bother you with these, look to the right if you wish. --->

Anyway, I'm not happy. I would like to be able to enjoy beautiful lingerie without enhancing the looks of my chest (or shipping proper bras from the States for that matter). It's so simple. I'm alright with what I have, and I don't need any improvements. And that's all there is to it!

September 17

Exactly 21 years ago, at 2:30 in the afternoon CET on 17th September I came to this world.

I've scored 10 Apgar points and had a good outlook for the future.

Since then my life has been a bit of a rocky road really.

I've spent six years at a music primary school that I've absolutely hated, only to rediscover my love for music a couple of years later.

Middle school was full of drama in the middle of which I inadvertently ended up being. My word, this was 

One year in a Polish high school has passed without much firework, maybe part from taking part in a Christmas concert when I surprised everyone by actually getting onto the stage and singing in public.

And then two years at a girl's school. This was... fun, in a way, a bit strange, and at moments emotionally draining, but I would do it all again (maybe apart a few stupid things). Definitely would do it all again.

When it come to uni, I had the most crazy first term, but later I've settled pretty well. In fact I've settled in my own room so well that some people haven't seen me for weeks or months on end.

And now I'm here, turning 21. With a bottle of Chilean red and some marzipan chocolate to accompany me.

At 21 my granny, mum and aunt all already had children. I have no prospects of any such accomplishment as of yet.

I'm probably about a quarter into my life (hopefully!) and I wonder when I'm going with it and I honestly don't know. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do career-wise, but what besides it?

My granny said the most important thing is to have an interesting life, but I cannot complain about it. My life has been ridiculously interesting. So maybe I'm actually on a right path?

Two weeks on: things they don't tell you

Before the four of us headed off to Netherlands, we've got a number of instructions and friendly advice.

We were told that nothing gets done quickly and we need to be extremely patient.

We were told that a bike is a necessity and no one wears helmets because it just looks too daft.

We were also told that there would be little work to do compared to Ox and that we would really enjoy this year.

We were told to prepare for proper seasons, bring warm coats for winter and summer dresses for summer.

But there are certain things that we were not told.

Like how to stop a bus. I mean, this is important, right? Do you wave your hand or is it considered rude? Is it enough to press a 'stop' button on a bus or do I need to do something else too if I want to get off?

Or where to get proper coconut milk from. This is a major issue if you want to make something Thai.

Or where the recycling bins are (the answer is that there are none, just if you wonder).

Or where to get cheap wine glasses from just in case you manage to break the ones you've brought with you.

All this actually useful stuff that they haven't told us...

Enjoy the moment.

Yesterday I had to collect some remaining bits and pieces from the storage facility outside the town, so I've decided to take a bus (cycling with a big plastic box is not fun at all).

Buses in Leiden are not frequent and on my way back I've ended up waiting at the bus stop for about 15-20 minutes.

After 10 minutes I've got rather irritated. I've had so much to do and I had to be stuck there at the bus stop in the middle of nowhere, doing nothing productive- not something that I enjoy.

And then I reflected.

I thought that instead of getting irritated, I may well enjoy the moment. The sun was shining beautifully and it was just a perfect day. It was really a moment when I remembered how important appreciating little things is - because every moment is important.

Culture shock? What culture shock?

So when I visited some websites dedicated to year abroad people I've laughed at pages on dealing with culture shock. I mean, I was going to Netherlands. It's in Europe. It's not a Third World country. And I've been here before a few times. What culture shock could I possibly get?

And then it turns out it's not so simple. The culture shock somehow has happened. Maybe not so much as it might have if I went to some exotic country, and yet.

First shock came about when everything progressed really slowly. If time is money, the Dutch must be very rich. It might be just my bad luck, but I've encountered one of the worst customer services ever (apart the one in the Town Hall, they were absolutely brilliant).

Another shocking thing was that everyone looks the same here. I mean the natives. The guys all wear the same kind of clothes and excessive quantity of gel on their shoulder-length hair. This looks really ridiculous. And the girls also wear the same sort of clothes. In Oxford you can meet people with green hair, blue hair, wearing something hippie, or dressed completely in black, or wearing some sort of traditional outfit. Nothing like this appears here. This is really strange for me. And it makes me unnecessarily anxious about what I wear.

And then there is a fact that everyone speak Dutch, which is sometimes rather intimidating, because I can only understand single words. When I've arrived in Rotterdam a week ago, I stopped in the middle of the station hall and hearing all those unfamiliar sounds I though: 'Kat, you're completely mad, what are you doing here, honestly.' And I still feel like that, though I'm trying to pull myself together to actually use some of the Dutch I know, limited as it is. But it's hard.

One last thing: everyone drives and cycles on the right. You think that it shouldn't be a problem for me as a Pole, but believe, I got so used to the left side traffic, that I actually did try to cycle on the left (not a good idea when there are other bikes and cars approaching from the opposite) and still need to keep shouting at myself that I'm supposed to look LEFT not right.

Day 1: May you live in interesting times

Well, where to begin...

Today was really intense. My alarm clock burst off at 4:45 am. I somehow managed to close my suitcase overflowing with random things that I could not leave behind. Then there was a trip on a Tube. Kind of. I mean I even went down the escalators, hoping to catch the very first train on that morning at 5:30 (according to tfl website, or 5:26, as I found out from a poster at a station). And I was patient: I waited until 5:38 before giving up and dragging my suitcase back up the escalators. And ended up in a taxi. The good thing is I've reached the train station on time. The worse was that it costed me 25 quid instead of 2.20. Oh well. Better than missing a train costing over 80!

What followed was probably the most relaxing part of the journey, to a point that I've done some law reading. Honestly, I recommend splashing out on a Premier class in Eurostar - the breakfast did not know me over (maybe that's actually good), but it's so much more comfortable (two of me could fit into a seat) and there are less people in a coach, meaning less shuffling (and cleaner toilets on a practical side).

Having reached Brussels, I've embarked on a journey to Rotterdam with Thalys. Comfort wise - fantastic. Otherwise the experience was so-so. I mean, this was my first journey in first class on a international train, right? And it could have been nicer. I've only just boarded the train when one of the staff ladies rushed after me, asking what coach I was booked on. And then I got a very evil eye from a rather posh-looking lady sitting a few seat away. I don't know, I really felt out of place then. But I got a muffin later, a muffin makes everything much better.

The real mess started after reaching Netherlands. First of all, surprise, surprise, every one speaks Dutch. After over an hour at a station I've started to understand all  the announcements, but that's about it. Though I'm quite good at reading, my knowledge of English, Polish and little bits of German comes in handy. But no, speaking is not good at all. Definitely something I need to work on.

I've managed to buy my OV-chipkaart (like an Oyster card, but can be used in the whole of Netherlands). Never ever have I seen such a queue at a ticket office, especially given the number of ticket machines on that station. Then I was to experience a terrible mess on the Dutch railways, combined with rather poor information.

Transport issues continued into Leiden, with a bus being considerably late. I slowly realise that the Dutch are not the Swiss - time is definitely not a strong side of the Dutch. And then the buss driver completely ignored my request to stop by the hotel and I had to get off at the next stop and walk over to the place. Normally I wouldn't mind, but it's not fun with a big heavy suitcase. Point to note: if  you want to get off the bus, indicate this will by almost forcing the doors to open while the bus is still in motion. This should be a sufficient indication of our will to get off at the nearest stop. Caution: merely pressing a 'stop' button is not enough.

And finally I've reached a hotel. Quite frankly, I've never been in such a strange place before. I've been in quite a few strange places in my life, but in terms of a hotel, I think this Holiday Inn Leiden scores the top marks for strangeness.

When you walk in it's as if someone crossed-over the Taj Mahal Palace with a Travel-lodge style place and added some random pieces of furniture. Like a grandfather clock. I really don't know what it goes with, but it's  there, standing near the patio. Yes, there is a patio. In the middle of the building. And so is a children's playground, right next to a restaurant. I'm not entirely sure the layout of this place was really thought through.

Even when it comes to rooms. Have you ever stayed in a hotel room without any windows? Well, here the window technically exists, but not in a form you would have expected it to be in. The window faces the corridor! Yay! Only after another metre of space there is a window actually looking out of the building. Really bizarre. Like a rather poor holiday house. Especially that some of the rooms actually face inwards. I really hope no one ever stays there, it must be rather grim. On the plus side, at least the air conditioning works and there is a bath in the bathroom!

It will be a very interesting year, I reckon. I’m not sure whether to laugh at all this or cry. It’s a funny place, Netherlands. But I’m slightly anxious about what tomorrow (and the remaining year, for that matter) will bring.

Disclaimer:  Please take this post in with a (rather substantial) dose of humour! 

As ever

I knew this would happen.

I had it all planned perfectly, but I knew something would not work out.

So I have this jurisprudence essay to write over summer. Summer break at Oxford is long, right? It started on June 22. It's August 15 today. Guess how much work I've done for this doubtful pleasure? Well, yes, none really.

I mean, I've tried, but it simply didn't work, as ever. I work Mon-Fri full time. And when I come back the very last thing I want to do is to ready about revolutions. Especially that I don't get it at all. And it's frustrating, getting even more frustrating as the time goes by and I'm left if only two week to write something.

The good thing is that I work brilliantly on tight deadlines. But I'll start tomorrow.

Dutch experience so far

If I were to describe my Dutch experience so far in one word, it would be confusion.

My word, it's really complicated. Housing application is a nightmare that costs you 350 euro, and you have no idea what you get at the end. When you finally get somewhere to stay, a flow of hidden costs commences (contract fee, bedding fee, whatever fee).

And you think you are sorted, ready to sign your contract and collect your keys. But it would be too easy if it was just that. You need to make an appointment to sign the contract. Appointments are at random times during the day/week, scarcely convenient enough to allow you to arrive at some sensible hour of a day, not to miss classes and have somewhere to stay after your contract commences.

Because getting keys to your place is completely separated from the process of contract-signing. It's bizarre and inconvenient and makes no sense (and goes against all of my real estate experience, and I have quite some, believe me). But yes, you get your keys eventually. Though this is not the end of the story.

You need to register with the town hall. I'm yet to experience it, but I dread what it will be like. Not mentioning opening a bank account. Hey-ho!

Honestly, I have enough of this even though I haven't even left the country yet. Breath-in - breath-out... And again...

Time confetti

http://verilymag.com/contaminated-time-and-the-rediscovery-of-leisure/

I've actually purchased the book that the interview is about. Because I really do identify with the author. My life a string of time confetti, if you can call it so. It's busy.

I'm a girl who stayed up to bake a coconut bread that I've promise a week earlier. I would say yes when someone asks me to run a fairtrade breakfast on a Sunday morning even though it is a lay-in day and I planned something else already. I would have a friend over for a cup of tea even if my essay is long overdue, my parents are frantically trying to reach me on the phone to discuss summer plans and

And yet, I'm reasonably happy. I mean, I find time for over 2 hours of swimming a week. I take evenings off (mostly) and (usually) refuse to work on Sundays. Anyway, so I thought before I've started digging into the book. Compared to other people that I know, I don't have such a bad attitude, surely?

I paused and pondered on it. I thought about all these times when I prided myself with juggling million functions at the same time. When I thought I was brilliant because I was able to complete all my work days and hours before everyone else only to carry on some additional research or starting the new project. Times when I thought that something is clearly wrong when I had nothing to do and other times when I felt terribly guilty for not doing anything productive after work.

I have terrible amounts of free time here and there. 20 minutes between getting ready for work and leaving the house. 7 minutes while I walk to the station. 35 minutes once I've finished eating lunch. These are relatively long stretches of time, but what meaningful can you do in 20 minutes? My time confetti, scattered around the day.

Funnily enough, I read the book about being overwhelmed with things to do on the Tune or in a bus or while eating quick dinner since I have no time to sit down and just read it. Paranoid.

But it is not only my leisure, so to say, time that is scattered. It's also work time that lacks structure. I engage in a number of tasks at any one time. I search for tax law in Jersey, translate a piece from Polish to English, check email and write up a report. Keep calm, I'm in control of it all. And though at the end of the day everything, somewhat is pain, gets done, it would be much better just to take it one thing at the time. Great as I may feel juggling so much (and it does make me feel like I'm a pro), it's not healthy for the brain.

Aim for next week: gather together the confetti and make a beautiful flower out of it. We all deserve the time to smell roses.

Beauty uncovered

Have you ever seen one of those cosmetic bags?

When I first saw one of these I laughed, but really, this just hit the point.

I put progressively less make up on my face as I grow older. Liquid fluid has been exchanged for a mineral powder foundation. But when I think about the amount of stuff I used to put on my face a couple of years ago, it's absolutely horrifying.

And it's all because of my insecurities. So much easier to cover up and than to accept myself. Downside to the make up is that it covers all my freckles and I absolutely love them. And it takes time! (though I've mastered the art of putting full make up on in max 7 minutes) And guys sometimes can't even tell the difference. 

Coming back to the bag, isn't it quite offensive anyway? As if my face as it is was not good enough. But it is, for goodness sake! It might not be perfect, my nose my be slightly too big, my eyes too small and skin to pinkish, but it does the job! My nose can smell, my eyes see properly (well, relatively) and my skin keeps the germs away from the inside of my body. What else could I want? As they say, there's a nut for every bolt, so why worry?

Wake up tomorrow morning, look into the mirror and say to yourself: "I'm beautiful." Without putting your face on. It's already there. And it's perfect.

Sunday Special: Little Poland

I've never understood the idea of, so to say, 'national' churches. I mean, a Polish/Spanish, Korean parish in the middle of another country.

I can understand a general idea of having mass in English, since everyone speaks it and and I guess this is the way to make a liturgy more understandable and so on. But having a national parish? No, no, no.

I've gone to a mass in a Polish church here, and it was through and through Polish. 

Don't get me wrong, I love Poland. But this was so exclusive.Why do we need a church for Polish speakers only? They do live in an English-speaking country. They do speak English, communicate in this language on a daily basis. Why on earth, then, do they need a Polish parish church?

I don't buy into this thing about cultivating the Polish culture, staying close to your national traditions and not losing you identity. There are so many different ways to do that. And the Church should be universal, not segregated into different nationalities.

And so I went out of the church with a feeling of confusion. I've spent an hour in a room filled down to top with Polish people. Strange and discomforting. Outside the door waited London, where it didn't matter what country you come from. Re-entering into a real world from this little Polish island was truly a relief.

It seems like I cannot handle such a concentration of Polishness in one place. I think I moved from 'Look at me! I'm Polish!' to 'I have this whole baggage of being Polish with me, take what you will'. 

No more Polish masses for me then. At least I've tried.