Sunday Special: The Art of Waiting.

I'm a very inpatient person. This is why I find it extremely hard to focus on any given task if there is something lined up ahead. It can be anything from something grand to something completely stupid. A visit to a theatre or a baking spree. A meeting with a long-unseen friend or a shopping trip. I know this is very bad and I would be better off just focusing on one thing at the time, but it's difficult sometimes.

We are just entering Advent today and Advent is traditionally called a time of waiting. The problem with waiting is, however, that most of us is doing it wrong. I really do recommend reading this, it's a beautiful text on what waiting really should be like. As Father Henri writes:

"We can only really wait if what we are waiting for has already begun for us. So waiting is never a movement from nothing to something. It is always a movement from something to something more."

Here's the thing. When I impatiently wait for something, I sort of assume that that something is in the future, that now is somewhat deficient. So by waiting for the future, present is completely missed. I don't pay attention. I just want to move on. It seems that in the world that constantly wants us to do something and get somewhere, we've completely lost the art of waiting. The art of being patient, attentive, still.

So this Advent, I want to try to wait in the present. Do one thing at the time. Enjoy now. Because good things start now. In fact, they are already here. I just need to notice them.

Number game.

So apparently I'm in the list position when it comes to dating. The numbers are simply against me. At least according to this article here: http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/10/dating-gap-hook-up-culture-female-graduates

Would I date someone without a degree? I admittedly shivered at this thought at first, and I feel really bad about it, but actually, after thinking it through, it's not a degree that I'm really after.

My experience so far ranges from a guy who terribly struggled at school, and I'm not really sure where you got with his education by now to a guys reading for fantastic degrees, but showing varying interests in them, and different variations on the theme in between. And all of these relationships have left me with some unsatisfied need. It had nothing to do with their education. Being at Oxford, I have plenty of young and educated men here (sometimes even attractive!) and I'm not really that keen on dating any of them. There's nothing wrong with these guy's (or, me, hopefully, for that matter). It's just that they're all sort of the same. And they have the same idea about the future: get a good class degree and find a well-paid job in the City. There's nothing wrong with having a job in the city either, but I expect something... I don't know, less boring? More crazy? Of a sort of 'let's move to the Isle of Wight and start a pug farm!'

Intelligence doesn't necessarily follow a degree, and vice versa. And it's intelligence that I expect in my other half. And passion. For anything. But some sort of passion, that will make his heart race, that will make him want to get out of bed in the morning. And this is actually quite difficult to find these days, because people are somewhat indifferent and missing interest in anything worthwhile. And here the numbers are definitely more against me.

Maybe, since the numbers are against me anyway, I should just move to the Isle of Wight on my own and start the pug farm?

Or maybe I'll just prove statistics wrong.

All the freebies.

Over the course of the last few weeks I have worked at a few career fairs. I must say I do appreciate the opportunity to do some more physical work every now and then. Running up and down the stairs carrying boxes and pushing a trolley around is quite tiring, but it's also rather satisfactory once everything is set up, all the exhibitors are there and the first visitors are let in- everything comes together.

The best part of it is probably all the freebies and there was plenty. Apart from classic pens and notebooks (good quality ones though!) I got a kitchen timer, a giant tea cup, a usb stick, mini torch, jelly beans, Ben's Cookies (!!!) and a spork. Oh, and I would have forgotten about a rubber duck.

I always wonder how the decision as to what sort of promotional materials you give out are made. I mean, why would you give out a rubber duck if you're a consultancy firm? Or a torch as a law firm? At least pens and post-it notes are actually useful to students, but some of the things I've seen were really random. Not sure whether it is a good way about marketing. Unless you pair it up with Ben's Cookies. Anything is great if paired up with Ben's Cookies. But otherwise, if it's something really random, I don't think it works in company's favour.

In any case, I've had a lot of fun during those fairs. There's something really nice about doing something very different than reading a law textbook. And meeting a lot of interesting and fun people. I was actually surprised how much I've enjoyed it, because on some days I really felt like I couldn't be bothered to go there and do all this work, but at the end of the day I was really happy, though terribly tired. Good tiredness, when you know you've done a good job.

Sunday Special: "What do you want me to do?"

Coming back to Jesus after a long break is not easy. Maybe it wasn't 20 years of a break, but long enough to make it difficult. But despite being far from the Church, there is this longing inside of me which somehow draws me to God, even when things go terribly wrong. It's quite extraordinary really.

I have two favourite images from the Bible. The first one is when Jesus comes into the temple and throws all the merchants' tables over in terrible anger. There is something very empowering in this, because God Himself shows His human side. And it's ok to be human. To have all these weaknesses, even to get angry and throw tables over sometimes.

The second one is when Jesus heals blind Bartimaeus. Before he does anything, though, he asks 'What do you want me to do for you?' This question has been with me since my first year at uni and regularly comes back to me in prayer. I think many people have these moments when they are completely hopeless, when everything falls apart and the future doesn't look bright at all. In such moments I tend to instinctively turn to prayer and cry out 'God, do something! I can't deal with it myself any more!' But then this crucial question comes in: 'What do you want me to do for you?' What is it that will make you truly happy?

I've asking myself this question quite a lot recently. The answer has not appeared quite yet, but I think I'm heading in the right direction.

Bag it.

The world has not ended. There hasn't been any major disaster. I haven't seen people crying in despair. Despite what the media have foreseen, we're just fine. After a month with 5p plastic bag charge, everything is fine.

I must say I am a big fan of this charge, in fact I'd ban all plastic bags from the shops. At this point there is not a single plastic bag in the house. I have multiple reusable bags in various shapes and sizes, including my beloved cheese bag and life seems to go on quite well.

Plastic bags are convenient, but I think we've reached the point where convenience should stop being prioritised over what is truly good for us. Plastic bags are one of those things that you are really keen to take, but then you never want to use them again, so they get under your kitchen sink, the place of eternal damnation in the house, or, much worse, end up on the streets, blown away by the wind.

We need to start looking after our planet properly. Starting with all these plastic bags is a good move, maybe then we could take care of overproduction of waste in general. Do you know how much rubbish you produce? I am amazed by the amount of waste produced in my house, especially the waste that cannot be recycled. It is unnecessary really. But when you go to a supermarket everything is packed in some sort of plastic packaging, a large proportion of which is non-recyclable. This bothers me a lot. I wish we could go back to the times where there were no supermarkets, where people could easily buy local fruit and veg and place it in their own cotton bag or a basket. Without the plastic packaging and all this add-on stuff that is completely unnecessary.

I'm trying to be more aware of how my life influences the environment. Maybe if one person changes their behaviour it won't make much of a difference, but I believe that if each one of us changes something small, the impact can be great. Do not take the plastic bag from the shop. Buy in bulk to reduce the amount of packaging. Buy fair trade. Support local farmers. Whatever it might be, just do it. We need to start this change somewhere, don't we?

This is a very interesting talk on living a zero-waste life. It might seem to be going a little too far to actually reduce your waste to zero, but I think there's a lot to learn from this girl's experience.