Thoughtful gift-giving.

We're in the season of buying. There was Halloween, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, now Christmas shopping is in the full swing. It seems that there is always some occasion for which we should buy stuff. Or at least that's what all the companies want us to believe.

I am not crazy about receiving or giving gifts, it's not my love language and I find that actually spending time with somebody or doing some act of service for them is much more meaningful. However, I think there is beauty in giving gifts if they are personal and thought-through. I hate receiving generic gifts (and the same goes for any greeting cards, what is the point if you just sign your name under a pre-printed one-line message?). But I really appreciate if somebody gives me something that adds value to my life, makes it more efficient or just really speaks to me because it shows that the person really thought about me when buying the gift. I also love to give gifts when I know it will make another person smile and enrich their life in one way or another.

A caveat is necessary here. All gift-giving should be done without an expectation of getting anything in return. Sometimes a conversation might be needed. I know a lot of us feel obliged to give back to people who gift us, but gift-giving is not about obliging others to spend money on you. They might not have the means to. They might simply not want to and this is fine. Gift-giving is about opening our hearts up unconditionally and showing that we care about the person we are gifting to, that we appreciate them. Coercing somebody to give you a gift back has nothing to do with truly thoughtful gift-giving.

Thoughtful giving

My first suggestion is then to consider the receiver of the gift. What do they like? What do they need? What would make them happy? Different gifts will be appropriate for different people. Young parents might want to have some time for just each other, so maybe offer an evening of babysitting. A music fan will enjoy Spotify subscription, a book worm might want a special edition of their favourite book.

Secondly, think about gifting consumables and experiences rather than physical stuff. Ever since I started decluttering my possessions and simplifying my life, I really don't like getting gifts that will take up space in my home. I like to get food, tea, ethical beauty products, theatre tickets, spa vouchers anything that I can use up and have fun doing it. Museum pass might be an idea. Even better if you can make the gift yourself. Maybe a jar of delicious home-made cookies.

And if physical gifts are what you decide to go for, think of something practical. I remember one year my mum got a washing machine for her birthday and I was not impressed with dad at all, but I grew to appreciate such gifts, especially now that I have my own place. If a new kettle is something your friend needs, just get them the kettle. They will be eternally thankful and will think of you every time they make a cup of tea. I think so often we are caught up with an idea that gifts must be something special in a sense of not an everyday item, that we forget that people will rejoice at getting an item that they actually need but just never seem to have time to get round to buying. Like new underwear. Or a new tablecloth. Ask what they were meaning to buy for a long time and get it for your loved one.

Finally, the most valuable gift you can give is your time and undivided attention. No gift can make up for you being constantly busy, short tempered and stressed about about buying gifts. Being truly present over the Christmas period is might be the best present. Maybe it's the time to say 'You know what, we are not going to do gifts this year. Instead, we will cook together, sing carols, play board games. We are going to go for a long walk on Christmas day and just really enjoy being together'. Maybe it's the time.

The mess of this Holy Night.

I'm not a fan of Christmas cards, even those strictly religious ones. The reason is that they all look so neat and perfect. Mary with her hair so tidy under the veil. Jesus sweetly sleeping wrapped in a blanket. St Joseph keeping watch over those two most precious people in his life. All farm animals calmly standing around as in awe. Depending on the nature of the scene you might have a shepherds bowing down, dressed simply, but always cleanly. Or the three wise men with their precious gifts looking all glorious. The stars are shining over the scene. The darkness of the night has been illuminated by the coming of Emmanuel, God with us.

The Nativity by Correggio

Sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it?

Now contrast it with the mess it must have actually been that night.

Wind blowing through this makeshift shelter. Mary with hair stuck to her wet with perspiration forehead. She probably didn't look particularly glorious after all the efforts of labour. Jesus probably wasn't washed (could they find any water in the middle of the night?), the smell of the animals must not have been pleasant. My favourite screen adaptation of the Christmas story is The Nativity series from 2010. I think it is beautiful how honest and human this particular adaptation is: with Joseph being utterly confused by the events over the nine months until the Holy Night of Christmas, Mary scared by the prospect of giving birth on a dirty floor and those faithful shepherds adoring their King. 

The Nativity by Gari Melchers, 1891

The reason why I want to think about the Christmas Night as an utterly messy affair is because in all this mess, improvised solutions and less than ideal circumstances, God was there! Christ has come into this mess. And as He has come into the mess in Bethlehem over two thousands years ago, so He comes into the mess of our lives today. He doesn't mind that we are not quite ready, that we haven't quite tidied up all those bits that should have got tidies up years ago, that we are in less than presentable outfit, that our house in not warmed up enough and that we haven't got anything to welcome Him with.

Jesus comes into my life every day, even though I am an terrible sinner and I stumble every day. But He wants to be with me in my mess. He wants to sanctify my mess. He wants to make me Holy, so that I can start dealing with my mess one thing at a time. I might never finish this task. But by the grace of God I might be able to sweep some dust from the floor of the stable and maybe even wipe Mary's forehead.

Christmas is such a grace, such a blessed time. God becomes one of us, so that we can become the sons and daughters of God. With our messy lives, unfinished businesses, relationships tangled with lack of love. He has come! He is God with Us, Emmanuel. Let Him into your chaos and let Him do wonders.

This special time of the year.

This Christmas I wish us all to be able to slow down. To be in the moment and really appreciate the beauty of each day given to us.

May we judge less and love more. May we be less concerned with what others think and more mindful of what we really want. May be know what is  truly important, and let go of the unimportant. May we always have a smile for a stranger. May we be kinder to each other. May we bring love to places where there is hate, hope to those who despair, and faith to the doubting.

May this Christmas be calm and bright, like in the carol.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

I love giving presents! This is one of the most enjoyable parts of Christmas.

This year I actually feel on the top of things, since I've got presents for pretty much everyone now, and it's still two weeks until Christmas. It means that I can dedicate this fortnight to planning food preparation, outfits and New Year's Eve trip. It will be busy at home just before Christmas, especially that I only come back for a short while and need to get so much done! 

I have a stack of little things for Mr Magic in the corner of my room and I simply can't wait to give them all to him. I can barely contain myself and it's so hard not to tell him what it is I got for him!

In the meantime I need to content myself with wrapping presents and sticking bows on them.

Other Christmas updates:

Our house house has gained a Christmas spirit last week, with a Christmas tree being finally put up, after almost a week of obstructing the way through the living room.

I really like it, because it looks almost classy (despite the plastic baubles) . Unlike this restaurant in London. Mind, the picture was taken in mid-November.

Mince meat is safely stored in the suitcase, ready to be taken back home.  It's probably the only English Christmas tradition that I'm willing to export to Poland. Because mince pies are delicious.

Christmas tea towels and slippers have been taken out of the cupboard and are given a new life this year. It's probably a little tacky, but who cares when you can have a set of home accessories with reindeers and snowflakes. 

Getting ready for Christmas.

Christmas tree is ready, all the baking has taken place already, hovering is done and I've packed all the presents. Except a few bits and bobs to sort out tomorrow morning, now it's only waiting for the birth of Jesus.

My Advent was a bit of a roller coaster, with a lot of ups and downs,mostly downs, with plenty of flat periods in between and a handful of ups. But I'm thankful for that. I've come to realise many things. Or rather I was clearly shown that I can do better. I hope to be able to it on board and change something. There's a lot that could be better in my life if only I made some small steps in a different direction. This sort of goes to my New Year's goals. I have a few in mind, but I'll leave it for the time being.

In the meantime, happy Christmas! May it be a time of blessed hope and joy for you!

“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord."

 Luke 2, 10-11

Jingle bells.

My Christmas wish this year is that somebody else do the Christmas shopping for me.

Honestly, having spent over 4 hours of my life browsing through shops, I despair. The shelves are overflowing with stock, and yet I could not find a single gift to give to my family and friends. This is just ridiculous at this point.I might actually just spend one hour searching for stuff online and get it in this way, will probably be more time-efficient.

The thing it, I can't just get anything. I want to get something personal for everyone. Gifts should be meaningful, shouldn't they? Buying socks or chocolates will not do.*


So I'm still stuck with Christmas presents, trying to figure out what to get for everyone. I would love to make some gifts myself, but there simply isn't enough hours in the day for me to do it. Hopefully next year will be less hectic and I'll be able to carry on my tradition of making cards and so on. In the mean time, online gift shops it is. Woohoo!


* Although I do love both socks and chocolates.