Unexpected pro travel tip.

Travelling can be stressful. I always get a tummy ache on the days when I travel, with an occasional bonus in the shape of a headache. My dad always called it reisefieber. It's an actual thing! A mixture of excitement and anxiety.

There is a lot of things you can do to make travelling this tiny little but less stressful. There are some obvious steps you can take. Like making a list of things to pack. I love a good list and I have a list of essential carry-on items. I'm not so fussed about items in the hold, these are usually easily replaceable at your destination - but anything truly important goes in my carry on bag and I make sure that I have all the essential bits and bobs that make my travel much more comfortable.

Another pretty obvious tip is to leave in plenty of time. Rushing automatically makes everything more stressful. When I fly, I arrive at the airport with about a hundred hours to spare. Well, that's an exaggeration, but I arrive so that I have at least a couple of hours to enjoy the wonderfully overpriced facilities of the departure area. I track down the water fountain, go to the loo about seven times (joy of having a peanut-sized bladder), explored the chilled food section of Boots and have a cup of tea. On a good day, I might even get some work done.

Both of these alleviate the stress of going on holidays prior to departure, but what about coming back? Some of the same principles apply: make sure you pack all the essentials on the carry-on list, leave early to avoid rushing. There is, however, one more thing you can do to specifically make your return from holidays much more pleasant. And this is to clean your house before going on holidays. I know, I can almost hear you saying 'Thanks Kat, as if I didn't have enough to do before going on holidays. And now you want me to clean?!' But hear me out. 

By cleaning the house I don't mean a deep spring clean with hoovering behind all pieces of furniture and cleaning the windows. What I means is washing up the dirty dishes, giving your home a quick hoover, taking the rubbish out. It shouldn't take you more than half an hour. Unless you haven't washed up for a week. We've all been there. But then you only have yourself to blame.

Trust me, after a long day of lugging your suitcase behind you, dealing with delays and sweating from running to catch a bus, you will be happy to return to a reasonably clean house with an empty sink and lovely-smelling bins. Also, make your bed before you leave for holidays, and make sure all the clothes you pulled out of the wardrobe in a packing-frenzy are put away. You will thank me for this one when you arrive exhausted after your lovely break away and are able to literally drop onto a clean bed.

Decluttering my fantasy self.

We all have our fantasy self: that person who we aspire to be, but never actually become. It usually shows through a collection of objects bought with an intention that you start exercising, cooking more interesting dishes, revisit that hobby you abandoned in college. Items that we would like to use, an in ideal world probably would actually use, but the realities of life prevent us from doing so.

Realism is absolutely crucial when you want to declutter your fantasy self. I have so many ideas about the person I want to be and the activities I want to do, but, in all honesty, I scarcely have time or money to pursue them.

Take horse riding for instance. I absolutely loved horse riding when I was at school. And I also rode a few time over the course of doing my degree. I had a complete gear, chaps, hard hat, boots, jodhpurs, gloves, but for years now it has sat in the cupboard. Finally, when I moved to the new flat, I decided that enough is enough.

All my horse riding gear has been sold on ebay. Part of me was reluctant, because I kept thinking 'what if I end up wanting to ride again?' But I haven't ridden for years and if in a few years time I want to ride, I can just wear my standard boots and rent the hard hat at the stables. But it will probably take some years, because spending £50 or more on an hour long session really is not in my weekly budget at the moment.

Second thing that was declutter was my slr digital camera. I've never came round to actually using it properly and out of those tens of modes available and different settings I only ever used auto and macro. Yes, once upon a time I did enjoy taking pictures, but I completely lack commitment to learning the art of photography. Also, such cameras are so bulky, you always seem to need a collection of other items at hand, different lenses, filters, tripods etc. It's so much easier to take a picture with my phone. And I don't even do it that often anymore. The vast majority of my pictures end up somewhere on my laptop drive never to be looked at again, so now, instead of compulsively taking pictures, I just enjoy the moment and look at things with my own two eyes.

So often I am caught up with thinking about the person who I could be in some parallel universe, that I spend very little time working on the person who I actually am. I might not take part in riding competitions or become a professional photographer, but I can dedicate my attention and resources to writing, reading and baking. Life is too short to try to enjoy things that don't really spark any joy within you.

5 love languages.

I don't often read relationship advice. I learn as I go along. But 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman was recommended on one of the YouTube channels I follow as a perfect book for marriage preparation and I thought that it would be good to get a head start in order to improve my relationship before we get engaged and think about the wedding.

I must say that this is one of very few books that I've read which truly made different to the way I live.

The premise is simple. There are five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Each of us have a preference in terms of how we want others to show us that they love us, Chapman calls is our primary love language. My love language is acts of service. I'm not bothered with gifts at all, I appreciate when somebody picked something specifically for me and I am really grateful for it, but I could go on without gifts for a long time. On the other hand, I really feel loved when somebody makes me a cup of tea, or hoovers the house, or unloads the dishwasher. Now I also understand why Mr Magic constantly wants to travel or do some activities. In the past it drove me mad, because I like staying at home, watching a movie or reading a book, but his primary love language is quality time and he wants us to do things. Now I am much more understanding and I am consciously making effort to find things for us to do. Some of these might be out and about (fermenting class anyone?), some at home (like playing games). Whatever it is, I know that Mr Magic wants to have my undivided attention while doing some sort of activity.

I would say that getting this insight made a massive difference to my relationship. I understand Mr Magic better. He understands me better. We are more intentional about how we spend our time and have some solid ideas about how to express love. As an addition to finding out about our love languages, we also listed 30 things that make us know that we are loved. It was a great exercise to show how much we appreciate little things we do for each other and what makes us smile on daily basis.

If you are still planning Valentine's Day, think about your loved one's love language. Depending on what it is, they will be most pleased with different things. Roses and chocolates might be best if their love language is receiving gifts, but if it is quality time, what about a dinner date followed by a walk? And remember to keep your love tank full all your round, not only on February 14th.

The 2 minute rule.

I think we all have these lists of tasks that would not take long to complete at all, yet we always leave them to the last minute. These tasks are an inconvenient necessity of daily like.

The way I tackle those is by employing the 2 minute rule: it it takes less than 2 minutes to complete, I get it done straight away.

I apply it in a variety of areas of my life. House admin, for instance. Incoming and outgoing mail, bills, orders of toiletries. Nothing major and intellectually demanding, but in the past I would so often avoid dealing with these tasks. By employing the 2 minute rule, I get things done promptly, avoiding a backlog that can overwhelm. Every day I check my mailbox when I get back from work and I deal with any correspondence straight away. 2 minutes is enough time to skim through the letters, recycle the envelopes and possible file some of the papers so that I deal with them later. Paying bills or council tax doesn't take long, but in the past I would constantly put it off, now I just get it done.

I do still have extended times each month for 'house admin' when I make sure my finances are in order, check insurance policies and deal with utilities. But for the most part I handle things as and when they come.

The 2 minute rule can also be applied to household chores. I am not particularly fond of packing my dishwasher, but it does only take about 2 minutes to do it. Same with taking the rubbish out, wiping down the table and the counters.

Also at work, the 2 minute rule helps me to get on with little tasks straight away rather than waiting for a better moment. Trimming worksheets, arranging exercise books, cleaning the whiteboard. Little tasks that can be completed straight after a class, without putting it off until just before the next group of pupils arrive.

I found that I am less overwhelmed by small tasks when I deal with them promptly. I won't fill up my day with 2 minute jobs, but I will generally just get it done. It's easier and gives me more uninterrupted time to deal with what's important and what requires more effort.

Living on my own.

Some people wonder why I choose living on my own. I was often met with bewilderment similar to when I told people that I abandoned any ideas of a legal career in order to become a teacher.

I must say this attitude rather surprised me, since there are plenty of perks of living on my own. I can arrange the furniture however I want. And I can rearrange my interior however many times I want. No need for debates with housemates, flipping coins and arguing about the colour of the sofa or how soft it should be. On that note, no housemates. This is a major advantage. Other people are annoying. They have annoying habits. They leave dirty dishes on the table, forget to take laundry out of the washing machine, do not stick to the cleaning schedule. I'm guilty of all of those, but it's ok when I'm on my own. When it comes to other people, I simply cannot tolerate certain things. I can bear Mr Magic being around a lot, because I'm planning to spend my life with him and it would be helpful to accept his few oddities (especially since I have so many), but people who most likely are in my life simply by chance? No, thank you.

But what I like the most about living on my own is the total peace that I get in the mornings and when I get back from work. I can take my time without worrying that I'm in anybody's way. I can relax with a book and a cup of tea away from people after a busy day surrounded by noise. I can replenish my energy in way that would not be possible if I had people coming and going all the time.

Of course, there are some downsides. I do feel lonely sometimes. It would be nice to be able to dump all my thoughts about the day onto somebody when I get home. Or just have an opportunity to hang around with another human in the room. From a more practical point of view, living on my own is expensive, all the charges need to be paid by me rather than splitting it with another person. Not to forget that there isn't anyone to share my baked goodies with, which sometimes proves problematic (there is only so much cake that one can eat. And I eat a lot of cake).

All things considered, though, I do enjoy living on my own. It has taught me to be independent and self-sufficient and gives me a lot of time to do my own thing. I am looking forward to living with my husband in the future, but for now I am embracing my current situation and honestly if I were to choose again, I would choose to have a single-person household. It suits my personality and gives me space to recharge.

Also, have a sneak peek into my apartment. It's nowhere near to be revealed to the world, but my living space looks decent already.