Dealing with changes.

A couple of months ago I made a move to a completely new place. I have a new job. I am (slowly) making new friends. I have a new rhythm of life in so many different ways. I don't wake up at 5am anymore, for instance. 

Changes are stressful. Even those planned changes that you have anticipated for months. Changes that have been meticulously considered and planned are still stressful. I am not so good with change. This is somewhat ironic, given the frequency with which I've been changing where I lived. I suppose I must have developed some tactics o help me dealt with changes. To make those frequent changes not so scary and not so painful.

1. Have a constant.

It can be a person, a thing, a place. For me, my parents and Mr Magic provide such a constant. They are always just on the other side of the phone line. I can always turn to them for comfort and advice. In this funny period between moving away from old friends and meeting new one, they provide me with all the love and attention I need.

2. Develop routines. Quickly.

Changes might mean that your old routines need to change too. But it is important to have a routine to fall back on. I retained the general structure of my daily routine, but had to make some alterations because my flat is different, my work is further away from home, Mr Magic is a much more frequent visitor over here. All of this meant that old routines developed over the last year no longer work for me. But I desperately need routines. I'm still not where I want to be with these, but I'm getting there. My days are becoming more organised each week.

3. Get to know the surroundings.

It really helps me if I know where everything is at home. It also gives me comfort to know where important places are in the area. The church, the shop, the dentist, the health centre, the pharmacy, the petrol station. I like to check the location of these on the map before the move to have a vague mental picture of where everything is. And then I try to memorise the way to those places as quickly as possible to stop using the sat nav. It gives a sense of being at home.

4. Have loads of food.

When I'm stressed, cooking is the last thing I want to do after a busy day. I have no patience for chopping vegetables, opening cans, peeling, simmering and washing up all the pots and utensils. But eating pizza or chinese every night is not fu either, despite its initial attraction.. So I like to have loads of delicious food at hand. It could be pizza, ready meals, loads of bread, eggs and baked beans. The key is to fill up the freezer or the fridge with food that is easy to reheat and that will bring you joy. I filled up my freezer with tartlets, bakes, curries, brownies, hot cross buns... I'm a big fan of batch cooking and I'm a freezer queen. It's a life saver.

5. Stop and relax.

Adjusting to a new environment is tiring. There is so much to do. It is also emotionally exhausting. What I have learnt in the past few weeks was that as some point I just need to stop and switch off. Stop cleaning, preparing, writing, reading, organising. Stop worrying. I just need to make a cup of tea and relax. Take a bath. Watch GBBO. Go for a walk. Whatever it takes to stay sane.

Changes are difficult, but you can make them a little more bearable with some planning and with a little down to earth attitude. Changes are temporary in the end. Not before long a change becomes a new normal. Let's just joyfully persevere until them.

Sunday Special: Pharaoh's heart.

I've been reading the Book of Exodus for the past couple of weeks. It's incredible how stories from the past are still relevant to my life today. When I started to read Exodus, I was a little dubious if I would be able to hear the voice of God speaking to me through the pages, but I've found that with every chapter there was at least a verse which touched the depths of my heart.

The stories of 10 Egyptian plagues really spoke to me through the character of Pharaoh. When the plague strikes, he asks Moses to pray to God to stop the disaster and promises to let Israelites go, but the moment the plague is gone, Pharaoh changes his mind, hardens his heart and doesn't let people go anymore.

This story truly mirrors my life. I lift up my eyes to God when a storm is coming, I cry for deliverance and pray incessantly. But when everything calms down, God is pushed to the background. I don't need to be saved anymore. Life is sweetly comfortable.

The plagues kept coming onto the Egyptians, because they didn't stick with the awe of God. They treated God as a tool for getting rid of their problems, but were not interested in developing a lasting relationship with Him.

I have Pharaoh's heart. I have a heart of stone that needs to be replaced by a heart of flesh. And it can only happen if I cling to God. Every day. On a day when I can hardly leave my bed and on a day when I'm winning. On a day when I'm running around like a headless chicken and on a day when I actually have an hour to sit in a chapel and pray. I need to refocus my life on God. Put His first. See that His abundance is much more than what I can create myself on my best day. 

25 things about me.

I turned 25 yesterday, so I thought it might be fun to do a little 25 things about me list to celebrate how old I am.

Here we go, 25 facts about me that you probably didn't not know. Make a game out of it, check how many of those were no surprise at all.

1. I am absolutely terrified of spiders.
2. I've only ever been outside of Europe once. I went to the US for a couple of weeks.
3. I can speak a little bit of Dutch. It's rather rusty at the moment though.
4. I spent a year in Leiden, Netherlands, as part of an Erasmus programme.
5. I took part in a 2km open water swim through the canals in Copenhagen.
6. I have a sweet tooth and I'm highly unlikely to say no to cake.
7. I studied law at uni, but decided a legal career was not for me.
8. On the uni note, I've almost dropped out of uni in my final year due to exam stress.
9. I love the sea. 
10. I try to live a low impact life as much as possible.
11. Once upon a time, I sung in a gospel choir.
12. I drink a lot of tea. LOADS.
13. I hate beetroots so much. I don't even like seeing them.
14. My favourite way to pray is to sing.
15. I'm absolutely hopeless with plants, but I bought an epipremnum and it's still alive two months on!
16. I used to hate driving, but now I love it, I would even say that I find driving quite relaxing.
17. I consider England my home. There's no other place where I feel so comfortable and happy.
18. I genuinely thought I was moving to the UK for two years only, to do my A-levels. But then, two years turned into four so that I finished uni here as well, and before I knew it, eight years came and went.
19. Ever since we've covered this topic at A-levels, I have a bit of an obsession with all things viking.
20. My favourite flowers are tulips.
21. I'm getting a puppy next summer!
22. I have two shows I could watch over and over again, Parks and Recreation and Big Bang Theory.
23. I will laugh madly and generally be silly if I'm really stressed or anxious.
24. I was supposed to be a boy. My parents hoped for a son; instead, they got me.
25. I am a morning person: I prefer to wake up at 5am and go to bed by 9:30pm than to stay up late and have a lie in. 

Sunday Special: Life-long project.

There is a community orchard in the country park near where I live. It has been planted relatively recently and the fruit trees are not any taller than I am. Some began to grow fruit, but they are nowhere near the state of being edible produce.

The information board says that it will take a few years for the orchard to mature. Patience is needed. It will be worth the wait, they wrote.

My initial reaction was that planting those trees was such a waste of resources. All those trees, ten of them, planted in the park, are absolutely useless for the foreseeable future. They are neither pretty nor useful.

But being patient and waiting will change everything. From pathetic stalks sticking out of the ground, beautiful and fruitful trees will develop.

While walking in the park, I've realised that I have the same impatient attitude towards my own conversion. I would like to be completely free from sin here and now. Right now. I often don't accept that conversion requires hard work and often a lot of time.

As a weak human being, I cannot just throw my old life behind me, never to return to bad old habits.  I need to fight against them every day to grow in holiness. To be more charitable, to be more, kid, to be less jealous, to be less angry.

It's hard work. Really hard work. Conversion is a life-long project. I will never be done. But by the grace of God I hope that each day I become a better person. I hope that each day I become a little more like the One in whose image I've been created.