People find some extraordinary sense of security when they know. Know about what will happen next. This is why we plan our lives: career paths, holidays, our children's education, expenditure. Planning keeps us in a comfort zone. And this extraordinary longing for knowing takes us to fortune tellers, horoscope pages of magazines and all sorts of ridiculous things that have no scientific grounding.
I was meditating recently on the first sorrowful mystery of the Rosary, Jesus' agony in the garden. I thought: He knew everything- He knew Judas had betrayed Him, He knew they would come and sentence Him to death, He knew how horrible the way up the Golgotha would be.
Jesus knew everything. Yet it was no comfort for Him. This is exactly why He took refuge in the garden- to talk to His Father and share the burden of the knowledge with the One who understood Him fully.
I sometimes want to know. I'm really organised, I hate surprises and would love to have every day planned. I ask: what next? where am I going? I don't know. And I'm not at all sure whether I want to know. As much as it is wonderful to be able to wake up and go through a day without any surprises, being prepared for every encounter, would it really be a comforting thing? To know?
Maybe it's better to take life one day at a time. Sure, we need to plan to some extent. I had to buy my tickets back home and plan my revision, but these are simple things. I'm really trying hard to look up to Heavens every time I start worrying about what next. Now is important. God holds my future in His hands already.
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