Managing my wardrobe.

I've decided to do a proper house clear out this year, partly because I will be moving and it's a daunting prospect that all the stuff I currently have at home needs to be taken elsewhere (there's just too much of it), partly because I've become interested in minimalism and owing less.

I've started with paperwork and in one evening I've got rid of two folders full of old notes, printouts, advertisements and who knows what else. This was an easy fix, though I still want to digitalise most of the paper documents I have lying around.

My bookcase also got hit with the clearing out madness and many books which I have already read and would not read again, or those which I've started reading but never finished got sold or given away. I love books, but I have so many, and I spend insane amount of money on books each year that I've resolved to use the local library more.

Now the time has come to tackle my wardrobe.

This was my pile of clothes after I've emptied the wardrobe and suitcases. Loads and loads of stuff.  Dresses, jumpers, trousers, tops, skirts... The good thing is, I actually remembered that I had every single item here. So no surprises when the contents of my wardrobe was sifted through.

To aid sorting, some organisation was necessary I've made piles of types of clothing: this seemed like the only system that will work and will give me an overview of what I really have.

Now, I didn't think I had loads of stuff, I actually pretty regularly donate unwanted clothes to charity, but after I've counted all the clothing items that I had, I was rather shocked. This is when all the surprises came. This is my list:

13 pairs of bottoms?! I don't even like wearing trousers! Also, 19 dresses, I knew I had loads, but didn't quite realise that it was so MANY. It's insane! And the thing is, very few of those items were actually weather-specific. Apart from winter coats (yep, multiple >.<), the vast majority of my clothes can be worn all year round, with the exception of some summer dresses and such, so why do I need so much?!

Making this list of all the things that I possess made me quite uncomfortable. I don't need 3 different hoodies. I really don't, I barely ever wear sportswear. I don't need all 19 dresses. Or 17 tops! Oh my... And this is AFTER I've done some wardrobe decluttering already. I seriously got rid of so much stuff already. Insane.

I have managed to downsize massively now, although I still have a bunch of things that I'm not sure about. Those occasion dresses have been listed online, little bits and pieces taken to charity shops. I've realised that I have a lot of bold pieces but not so many neutral staple pieces that could be easily mixed and matched. This will eventually become my focused, to build a more functional collection of clothes.

Here's my wardrobe now, minus a shirt, a dress and a couple of tops. Most categories of items on my list have been halved in quantity.

For the time being, I'm testing whether the items that I've decided to keep are actually items that I wear regularly. I put all the hangers backwards and they only get turned around when I wear that item. Hopefully after a few months all the hangers will be turned around. But if not, then I will need to reconsider certain pieces.

I would recommend to do a wardrobe purge to everyone. It really does make you re-evaluate your possessions. Do I want to have loads of clothes of often poor quality or do I want fewer clothes that will last? Do I want to spend loads of time trying to work out what to wear or do I want to have a set of outfits that I can rely on?

I think now it's a nice to do it as well, because the winter season is coming to the end so you can go through your warm clothes and declutter those which you didn't wear at all. And you can go through your spring/summer outfits and really ask yourself: do I want to wear this in the next few months? This will only take a couple of hours in the afternoon. Listen to a good podcast while you're doing it (I really recommend Hidden Brain on NPR). And afterwards, treat yourself to a good cup of coffee and a hot cross bun or whatever else you fancy.

Sunday Special: Economy of gratuitous gifts.

This is by far my favourite scene in the Bible:

Just before the Jewish Passover Jesus went up to Jerusalem, and in the Temple he found people selling cattle and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting at their counters there. Making a whip out of some cord, he drove them all out of the Temple, cattle and sheep as well, scattered the money-changers’ coins, knocked their tables over and said to the pigeon-sellers, ‘Take all this out of here and stop turning my Father’s house into a market.’ (John 2:13-16)

Jesus is angry because the temple of God became a market place where you buy and sell, where nothing comes for free. And this is completely against the nature of God: the Lamb of God comes to freely take away the sins of the world. You don't need to do anything to be overflowing with gifts from the Father.

Painting by Jeffrey Weston

I believe that this Gospel calls us all to be loving without measure. To stop making calculations whether helping this or that person is profitable. To be open to give up time and resources for others regardless of recognition that might come. Just do the loving thing. This is the only right thing to do. Because the truth is, that we have all been paid off already. 

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. (1 Corinthians 6: 19-20)

We are the temple out of which Jesus drives out the sellers and money-changers. We must become the places of God once again. Where the sacrifice of thanksgiving rings out from dawn till night time. I am constantly amazed how much I receive without even asking, and thanking the Lord each evening for specific blessings given in that day makes me realise how much I have and gives me even more reasons to give what I can freely. 

I would like to be more like the woman who has anointed Jesus' feet with precious oil and wiped them with her hair, without any sort of calculation. She has given all that she had most precious. Would I be so generous? I'm often so precious about things that I own, time that I have, words that I use. Every day I need to battle with the tradesman inside of my heart. Looking up at the cross, I see the perfect example of Love which doesn't expect anything in return for its gifts. Be holy as the Father is Holy. Be even a half, a quarter as generous as He is.

Sunday Special: Convenient time and place.

Rising very early before dawn, he left and went off to a deserted place, where he prayed.

I love this passage from the Gospel of Mark (1:35). After a series of healings, Jesus gets up in the middle of the night, goes off somewhere and prays.

Nobody noticed he was gone at the time, so I'm assuming that he could have stayed where he was and pray there. And yet Jesus decided to sacrifice his sleep and ensure that no one disturbed him. He wanted to spend high quality time with the Father.

How different this attitude is from my own attitude to prayer. So often I want prayer to be convenient. Squeeze it between afternoon tea and replying to emails. Do it while driving for 30 minutes so that I can get on with work when I'm at my destination. Pop into church on my way from grocery shopping to the petrol station. Say the rosary while doing my hated washing up.

Waking up half an hour earlier to get some quality prayer time? Going out of my way to find a place for prayer? No such thing happening in my life.

It makes me feel uncomfortable at this lack of prioritisation of prayer. I have a sort of prayer routine, but it is built around my day. I hardly ever think about prayer before scheduling other activities. It's an add on, rather than the focus. And I read this Gospel passage from Mark and I am ashamed. Ashamed by my poor prioritising, inattentive prayers, missed opportunities to be with the Lord. I am ashamed that so often I treat prayer as a matter of convenience rather than an act of love.

I imagine Jesus waking up, drawn to the Father out of his sleep. I imagine Jesus kneeling down and stretching his arms up to heaven. And I pray, Jesus, help me to put you at the centre of it all. Help me to organise my life around you. Because it's so so worth it: only in you I have life.

The pressure to be sociable.

I am probably one of the least sociable people around. 

I dislike small talk. I will always pick reading a book over going for a meal out. I hate being in a large group of people, be it at a party, at a concert or anywhere else. I find loud places utterly unpleasant. I cannot follow the lives of a more than about three to five people at a time. Meeting new people is extremely stressful to me. And I've been both blessed and cursed wit hypersensitivity to social ques, which makes interactions with other people really tiring.  

Over the last couple of years I have learnt not to apologise for or explain my unwillingness to engage in social activities. If I don't like it, I won't go, simple as that. It might come across as rude at times, because I will blatantly say that I am not interested in joining this or that event, but this is only because I highly value my mental health and personal comfort. There is no need to drag yourself through something because a) everybody does it; b) it is somehow expected from you or c) because your absence will upset or angry somebody. I've learnt that unless I am actually happy enough with the idea of spending considerable amount of time with other people, it's best not to bother. Many people don't seem to get it; they say 'You're young, you should be going out, having fun, meeting new friends'. And I'd much rather cuddle up in my bed with a mug of hot tea and a good book. Or play the piano. Or colour in one of my icons. Or go for a walk by the sea. Anything but 'going out' and 'having fun'.

Having said all this, I actually really like people, honest! My work involves being with people virtually all the time and I don't mind that, I actually really enjoy this aspect of being a teacher, but there is a clearly defined purpose of our interactions. When I go for lunch with my best friend, we do this to catch up and bond. I like social interactions to have a purpose. Just hanging out with people at parties for the sake of it simply doesn't cut it. It's loud, you cannot talk, most people are intoxicated anyway. Unpleasant to say the least.

The truth is, I only really enjoy one to one catch ups, occasionally a group of maybe up to 5. This is then not overwhelming emotionally. I can give my full undivided attention to whomever I am talking to. It is quality time when relationships can be strengthened, when I can find something new out about the other person. I am only interested in meaningful interactions. Life is too short to have loads of fleeting social exchanges.