Rising very early before dawn, he left and went off to a deserted place, where he prayed.
I love this passage from the Gospel of Mark (1:35). After a series of healings, Jesus gets up in the middle of the night, goes off somewhere and prays.
Nobody noticed he was gone at the time, so I'm assuming that he could have stayed where he was and pray there. And yet Jesus decided to sacrifice his sleep and ensure that no one disturbed him. He wanted to spend high quality time with the Father.
How different this attitude is from my own attitude to prayer. So often I want prayer to be convenient. Squeeze it between afternoon tea and replying to emails. Do it while driving for 30 minutes so that I can get on with work when I'm at my destination. Pop into church on my way from grocery shopping to the petrol station. Say the rosary while doing my hated washing up.
Waking up half an hour earlier to get some quality prayer time? Going out of my way to find a place for prayer? No such thing happening in my life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable at this lack of prioritisation of prayer. I have a sort of prayer routine, but it is built around my day. I hardly ever think about prayer before scheduling other activities. It's an add on, rather than the focus. And I read this Gospel passage from Mark and I am ashamed. Ashamed by my poor prioritising, inattentive prayers, missed opportunities to be with the Lord. I am ashamed that so often I treat prayer as a matter of convenience rather than an act of love.
I imagine Jesus waking up, drawn to the Father out of his sleep. I imagine Jesus kneeling down and stretching his arms up to heaven. And I pray, Jesus, help me to put you at the centre of it all. Help me to organise my life around you. Because it's so so worth it: only in you I have life.
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