Don’t sweat the small stuff.

I consider myself a rather calm and composed person, but there are times when the smallest of things drives me into a rage. If you've ever seen me truly angry (and not many people have), you know that it is not pretty. And, more importantly, it is not healthy. Daily stressful events can cause havoc in our fragile bodies. Research suggests that it is not about the frequency with which we experience daily hassles, but with out perception of their severity.

With this in mind, I conducted a reframing exercise. I considered those small, irritating everyday events that drive me crazy, and I changed tried to change them into something positive. The idea was to have a bank of positive thoughts readily available to draw on in stressful situations.

What are the things that irritate me on a daily basis? Let's take driving. I hate having nowhere to park. I'm not sure why it gets to me so much, I live in a pretty busy area and should really expect the parking spaces to be few and far between. In truth, it's usually not that there is nowhere to park, rather that the available spaces are not convenient enough. So this is really just a wonderful opportunity to up my step count and get some extra low impact exercise into my day. A small change in outlook and now every time I get frustrated with parking, I can think about all the benefits I will reap from walking more.

Walking more with my borrowed doggy.

Waiting is also an everyday hassle which all of us need to endure. It often feels like a big chunk of my life is waiting. Waiting for a bus, waiting in a queue, waiting for my coffee, waiting for customer service, waiting for an important phone call... So much time spent waiting! Interestingly, I am extremely patient with my pupils, but I am so terrible at waiting for things. No patience there (probably because it runs out during my teaching hours). The thing is, though, that waiting is unavoidable and largely outside my control. So, if I cannot do anything about it, I'm not going to stress out about those plentiful waiting moments. Even better, I could actually make good use of them. I often pray while queuing at a supermarket, because I always moan that there is not enough time in the day to pray and do all the work I need to do. Those few minutes spent by the till are perfect for a quick prayer and refocusing my day. I also try to carry a book with me, especially if I go somewhere where I know I am likely to need to wait (medical centre, for instance: you always have to wait. There wasn't a single time when I was actually seen on time). This allows me to read at least a couple of pages, keeping my brain busy.

And children! How annoying they are in public spaces. Especially in confined spaces, such as cafes, restaurants or shops. Don't get me wrong, some children are little angels and they don't bother me at all. But others are a nightmare to be around, shrieking, kicking, running around yelling. I will almost run to a different shopping aisle to avoid any sensory contact with a loud child. This is probably one of the trickiest daily hassles to reframe. How do I start thinking differently about this awful encounter with a loud little person (most likely also travelling at alarmingly high speeds. Possibly also pushing a full sized shopping trolley)? I can't really turn it to my advantage in a similar way to the previous two cases. But I can think about it more positively. I know that parents do an incredibly difficult job raising their children. They have the right to go out for a coffee when they want, though they might not have anybody to leave their child with at home. Or maybe they just want to take their children with them, because they work all day during the week and actually that shopping trip on a Saturday is one of a few precious moments they have to spend together. I guess I just need to learn to endure loud children in public spaces. It's just one of those unavoidable inconveniences of life. Just breathe in and out 10 times and run to that next aisle to hide between toilet rolls and coke bottles until the little monster is out of sight and earshot. 

It is not worth risking my health over minor annoyances, right? So let's reframe those daily hassles into opportunities to do (or think) something positive in those moments of annoyance.