I come into a dark and cool interior of the church. There is only a few people scattered around the pews. There is still a good fifteen minutes before the Mass begins.
I came in a little early in hope of receiving some divine inspiration. I haven't felt particularly close to God recently. I pray, yes, I do every day, but my mind is not focused. And this morning again, I kneel down and my mind wanders from one thought to the next. Laundry, shopping, emails, taxes, uncomfortable shoes, itchy elbow...
I look at the Tabernacle.
I do want Jesus to be a part of my life. I want to be like one of those people whose eyes light up when they talk about their faith.
And yet as I kneel down before the altar, the emptiness persists. Or rather, my mind is so filled with thoughts about my life, that there is little space for God.
It suddenly clicks. Faith needs nourishing. Like a plant which needs sunlight, water, fertiliser, my faith needs to be nourished regularly so that it may flourish.
It's the same with love. Love needs nourishment. It needs closeness, both physical and emotional, understanding, sometimes sacrifice. And faith is love, love of the One who created and saved us.
I leave the church feeling the power of God's love buzzing in my heart. This evening I read a chapter of the Bible and kneeling down beside my bed I pour out my life in front of the Father.
It has been about a months now since I make double effort to nourish my faith each day. It's hard work, because there is always something to do, or tiredness makes it difficult to focus, or I am simply too lazy to sit down and pray. But I am trying. Every day is a new chance to become closer to God, to give Him the reign over my whole life. “Behold, I am making all things new.” This is truly my experience: the more I take time to grow my faith through prayer, reading and good works, the more refreshed my spirit is. I just need to keep the momentum going.
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