This is the outcome of the retreat I attended last weekend. I consider it an incredible blessing that I was able to spend some time with other Christians and just be there without any other responsibility. No excuses, no maybe laters.
I've signed up for it, because I felt like I need to do something holy this Advent. My religious life hasn't been in the best shape recently, so I needed something to give me a little nudge.
The thing that I didn't know, was that the retreat was silent.
Well, that was unexpected.
I'm an introvert, so what's the problem, you ask? Well, being silent in the evening after a busy day in school is one thing. Being silent for pretty much whole day is another.
There was a reflection first, which gave me a fair amount of food for thought, but after half an hour of sitting in the chapel quietly my mind started drifting off to all sorts of places.
It was time for a change, so off I went to the barn, where I could use arts and crafts in prayer. Hence the drawing with the quote from Isaiah 35.
Then, I've decided to go for a walk in the surrounding, since sitting quietly in one place was just too much to take. At least now I had some background sound of birds and passing cars. A considerable improvement.
Thankfully, they gave us a choice at lunch whether we wanted to have a conversation over the meal or would rather remain silent. Apparently previous retreats had normal lunch where you could just talk, but people found it hard to come back to silence in the afternoon, hence the choice this time.
It was actually such a relief to be able to speak to another human being! I wouldn't have thought that I would ever say it, but it was lovely to hear another person's voice.
Thankfully, a young sister living with this community arrived by then and she suggested a walk around the castle and sharing time. I then realised how much I miss talking about religion, talking about the love of God and just being around people who have the same Christian vocabulary. It is such a powerful moment: when a bunch of strangers from all walks of live and of different ages, who in normal circumstances wouldn't have anything in common, comes together and shares what binds them together: faith.
Am I happy that I went on this retreat? Very much so. Was it a challenge? Definitely. But I finally had time to pray and hopefully will keep it up now. I have so many little moments during the day which could be devoted to prayer and I'm desperate to make most of them. Because only then the desert will blossom.
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