Time flies: my fours years at Oxford are nearly over.

It's strange to think that in a couple of weeks I will no longer be a student. Real life will begin, with bills, banking, weekly food shopping, waking up for work and being a responsible adult. It's both exciting and scary at the same time.

On numerous occasions I complained about Oxford. We do not get many contact hours, my degree is judged exclusively on the basis of nine exams crammed into two weeks at the end of my final year, Oxford is hugely male-dominated and mental health issues are not tackled enough.

At the same time, I will be sad to leave. I will miss Oxford so much. 

Oxford has taught me to be independent. Not only in my studies, since I had to find my own way through endless reading lists and stacks of books, but also in life. I've learnt how to deal with people, how to work in a team, how to care for my friends and how to care for myself. It's been a very fruitful four years. I've met so many wonderful people. I really hope that they will remain a  part of my life, even though we will be all over the place.

I'm immensely thankful for these four years. I'm thankful for each opportunity I had to challenge myself. I'm thankful for my fantastic friends. I'm thankful for the most wonderful man in the world.

Veni. Vidi. Amavi.

I'm starting my Teach First Summer Institute at the end of this month. I will be moving to the Isle of Wight in August and this is something I dreamt of for a long time. I didn't mind where exactly I would work, but I really wanted to by the sea and, well, you cannot get much closer to the sea than live on an island, right? I suppose the title of my blog will gain a new meaning, I will truly be on a small island then.

Almost there.

I've done six exams in the past six days and, gosh, I have enough! Thank god there's only three more left now, including a short juris exam and my favourite PIL.

My body is at the brink of exhaustion and I'm so looking forward to being free again (for a week, haha, but better this than nothing at all). Waking up every day at 6am is not fun, but I'm slowly getting used to it, since it will be my routine once I start working at school. A friend of mine commented that these finals are no longer a test of knowledge of the law, but a physical endurance test and this is really true. We are all just tired at this point, so no wonder that examiners' reports for subjects examined at the end always voice a disappointment at the standard of the scripts. Well, no wonder really, since you subject us to so much pressure in such a short space of time. But at least it will be over soon, it's much better than if exams stretched across a good few week as some people's do.

I need to say that I am very proud of myself that I survived last week and that I am in a decent mental state. Given that I thought about suspending my studies, I've made an incredible progress, thanks to all the support that I've received.

And I've learnt two things from this emotional roller-coaster that I've been on in the past couple of months. First, you need to really believe in yourself. Whatever happens, just do your best, push through and keep believing that it will somehow work out in the end. Second, don't be scared to ask for help. Don't be afraid to depend on somebody. Make this leap of faith and open yourself up. Because others are there for you, you just need to talk to them, since sometimes it is not at all obvious that you need help (unless you are sobbing in the library, yep, that happened too). Somewhat I'm even happy that it was so difficult to get through. I have even more reasons to be proud. And a lot to talk about.

I'm almost there. Five more days.

Staying healthy and body image.

I must admit that I haven't been particularly kind to my body recently. Studying for final exams is not conducive to healthy eating and regular physical activity, which sadly started to show, causing me serious body image issues. Mr Magic does his best to make sure I still feel attractive, but there are limits even to what he can accomplish in this department. 

Now that it is almost over, I will hopefully come back on track. Swimming is on the agenda, especially that we've signed up for a canal swim in Copenhagen in August, which means I actually need to train myself to swim 2km. It's 80 lengths and it's a lot. But hopefully in three months time I will be fit enough to jump into a cold canal and do it in under an hour (fingers crossed).

I was quite keen on running, but actually I think I'd rather do Zumba, in particular if I am to do it on my own, it's more fun. Unless I can find somebody who is willing to get down to my slow running pace.

Healthy eating is my other goal, since I'll be feeding myself with mostly carbs for the past two months. I have such a sweet tooth it's unbelievable. But celery and carrots with hummus are also nice, so I will just stick with those. And fruit, especially strawberrries, to satisfy my cravings. So as soon as the exam are completely over, there will be no more chocolate and pecan popcorn, veggie percies and other such things. Eh, it won't be easy.

I'm fully aware that I shouldn't have too much issues with how I look like, it's not as if I've gone four sizes up, but I would like to feel really good in my own skin and I don't at the moment. But there is a lot I can do to change it. And this is great, that I have some control over it.

Daily rituals.

My mornings are usually either absolutely mad or all over the place. I either have so much to do that I don't know where to start (so I end up doing everything at once) or I take absolutely ages to go through all the essential morning functions.

I'm trying to introduce some morning rituals into my life to bring some order and regularity to this madness. I use an app called Fabulous which allows you to set up ritual reminders and alarms, gives a number of suggestions as to what sort of rituals you can implement into your day (in the morning, afternoon and evening). It also has challenges which you do over three consecutive days, which is like playing a game, really. Better than collecting stickers for each our of revision.

Here are some rituals that I'm trying to implement, with more or less success. Apparently it takes 21 days to make a habit. Well, with me it probably takes more than that, I'm a very stubborn person when it comes to such things (see my repeated failure to complete a 21 day junk food challenge).

Morning rituals:

have a great breakfast: 15 minutes of exclusively me time with something delicious to eat and a cup of green tea.

to do list: apparently to do apps do not work, so I got a notebook and each day I try to write down three most important things to do that day, and if there are more than that, I arrange it into A, B and C categories, A being the most important, C- the least important.

eat the frog: "if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you can go through the day with the satisfaction of knowing that that is probably the worse things that is going to happen to you all day long." (Mark Twain)

block distractions: Oh, I need to do this more often, I have an extension called Focus 45 on my computer, which essentially blocks all the naughty sites for 45-minute periods at the time, helping me to get more done.

Afternoon rituals:

drink tea: I probably drink excessive amounts of tea each day, but apparently it calms you down, and this is something I really need now.

take a walk: this doesn't always happen, but when the weather is nice and I can concentrate no longer, a brisk walk in Christchurch Meadow is what I need the most.

Evening rituals

clean&tidy up: Alright, so I'm not good at that one, mostly because I don't have much time. But I'm working on it. Resolution for this weekend: tidy up the pile of clothes on y bedroom floor.

prayer time: Another one I struggle with, but I think it's so important to slow down in the evening and just be with the Mighty One.