Making peace with my body.

My body will not be beach ready this year.

I don't actually think it will ever be.

Firstly, I don't like sitting on the beach. I don't like the sand, it's usually uncomfortable, too hot and generally it's a rather unpleasant experience for me.

Secondly, I was walking down the seafront the other day, looking at ladies in bikinis and I looked down at my legs thinking 'Gosh, I need to sort it out'. Followed immediately by 'What are you on about, Kat?!'

I don't want to think about my body in this way. I don't want to feel insufficient, imperfect, not good enough. I have so much pressure on me coming from different directions that I definitely do not need it to come from within my head as well.

I'm actually quite happy with my body. It does have a few cm extra here and there, but I don't need the pressure of trying to squeeze into size 34 (those shorts have been donated now, thankfully). I have a rather utilitarian attitude towards my body. It needs to do its job. That's all I'm expecting. Carry em through my life without any major problems. Anything else is a helpful extra.

I will continue my evening light aerobic exercises (aka walking) not to control my weight, but to feel better physically and mentally. It's a good way of looking after my heart and my back. I might occasionally turn up at a fitness class, but not with a view of losing a couple of pounds. I simply enjoy jumping around and this is my opportunity to stop thinking about any worries: all my brainpower is engaged in trying to coordinate my legs and arms. Really all I care about is to keep healthy so that my body can serve me well for years to come.

Ahoy!