I've become increasingly aware of faith as a communal affair. I will like a lone island now, which is indeed a lonely position to find yourself in. The vast majority of the parishioners are elderly and the feel really distant. For me as a young woman, it is impossible to relate to anyone here.
One woman island.
It's difficult. God is the same, the liturgy is the same, but I don't feel like I'm a part of this at all. Just a mere visitor, albeit a regular one. Church is no longer home, though I wish it was. I wish it was as before. A Church filled with young vibrant hearts thirsting for God. None of this here, sadly.
I will need to continue to feed myself off Nightfever in Gosport and worship music on the way to work. I'm not sure, though, how long I can go on like this. It already feels like a walk across a desert. And a long one.
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