Wednesday 21 October 2015

Madly in love. Dumped. Freedom, here I come. Repeat.


This article just hit the nail on the head. It's always happens to me: after roughly 6-8 months of a relationship, I get dumped (or occasionally dump myself), despite everything going well up until that point. Despite me being a dream girlfriend: baking cake, keeping fit, washing socks, organising trips and weekends away, tolerating crazy family of my second half, participating in random social events which I hate, but somehow feel obliged to join, cooking dinners, taking him to cultural events. It always happens around a 6-8 month cut-off date, except this one time when the misery sadly lasted the entire three years, although really should have been cut loose halfway through it at the very latest. I could potentially plan my life in these 6-8 month increments. And it is not particularly pleasant to live with.

Maybe I am a victim of today's age and my very own lifestyle. Quite frankly, I do lack stability to form a long-term relationship. Although I do love stability, I even wake up at the same time on every day of the week, regardless on the workload and whether it is a weekday or a weekend. But when opportunity arises, I'm likely to just go for it. I guess this is a benefit of having your family far away anyway: I never consider where to live in terms of closeness to them, because they are 1800 miles away anyway, so my only worry in this respect is how convenient it is to get to the airport. Next year I can end up on the coast or in the middle of Wales, who knows. Funny, after the TF ACs we were talking about where we want to work after graduation and one guy said he was really unhappy that TF takes so long to allocate your region and school. I was perplexed by this, since I am rather excited about the idea of moving to a new place and starting all over. But he wasn't. Because he had a girlfriend and they want to plan life together, which is rather difficult if you're not told where you'll be required to go. It just simply didn't occur to me that it could be an issue for a twenty-something person. And yet, for some, it is. Would I move to the other side of the world for someone I love? Yes, no questions asked. But I would expect the same in return.

My granny always says that the time as a single young lady is the best time of my life, after I commit myself to a married life, that's it. And she's probably right to a large extent. I don't have to be worried whether TF throws me onto the Isle of Wight, deep Cornwall or Yorkshire. Yet, looking at all the couples I know, it seems to easy for them to make it work, while I keep changing boyfriends as some ridiculous rate. I crave intimacy, it might be a part of my problem, because I just throw myself into deep waters of love without much thinking. At the same time: what on earth is wrong with me (when every single guy says that it's not me, it's him). I sort of resolve to just enjoy the moment or, as an alternative, bake and eat cake, but I'm still wondering where this line-up of failed relationships will end. Surely there must be my Prince Charming just round the corner. Right?

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