So the times when I used to say that "I simply don't have time for that" are long gone. Because it's not about having time, it's about making time: nobody actually has time to give it away.
I'm extremely busy, in fact I could work 24/7 if I was really determined and there would be no worry that I run out of tasks to complete. But I still make time for things and people. I make time for joining a salsa class, Irish dance class, swimming session, rehearsals, baking sessions, a drink with friends, lazy mornings, sweet sessions, art projects, and all sorts of other stuff.
Every single time somebody tells me something along the lines of "I'm sorry I ignored your message for the past month, I didn't have time", it makes my blood boil. Are you serious people?! I mean, do you think I sit around doing nothing all days? This is extremely frustrating, not because I'm craving for having friends, but because I've expected a certain level of commitment and effort from certain people, and now I need to face a major disappointment.
Well, as my mum's taught me: a friend in need is a friend indeed.
But! It undoubtedly sad experience will not make me bitter, because I still believe it is worth investing in people what you have most precious: your time.
Finally, after what felt like absolutely ages but in fact was only a few days of rain, the sun decided to come out!
I must say that all this rain made me feel rather down: it was cold, grey, windy, I would not really go anywhere without getting completely soaked and generally it was not fun at all. So I'm glad today was a bit brighter. My energy levels are definitely up compared to the last few days.
I'm currently revising for my Entrepreneurship and Innovation exam on Monday. I do understand more about business now than even a few days ago, but still some concepts remain rather alien to me. But the only thing I can do now is to keep going and read as much as possible.
Oh, and rehearsals. So yesterday was really frustrating, because the attendance level has gone so down that we could hardly find a scene to do, people had to cover for other characters and generally it was a mess. It's only over a month until the performances, so I hope we manage to be a bit more organised from now on. On the brighter side, it was probably the very first time I genuinely enjoyed just being with these people. Not as if all other meetings were awful, but this time I was just extremely happy. Plus I managed to get to the music club jamming session and listen to some fun stuff. Good evening indeed.
Not having a Facebook account is sometimes inconvenient to say the least.
You know, you miss all the fancy events and all the funny videos people post and re-post on their walls, so that you turn out to be even more socially awkward when everyone talks about something like this and you simply have no idea what they talk about.
I can't quite remember when was the first time I've deactivated by account, I think it was half-way through my first year at uni and it was Lent or something of the sort, so I just disappeared from the thing. And I enjoyed it. So after some time I've just deleted the account completely.
Nothing major happened, though I had to train people to send me emails, because no, I don't get Facebook notification for lawyerly dinner you organised for next Friday, extra lectures and all other stuff.
Coming to Leiden , however, I've decided to have a bit of a comeback, because no-one sends emails here! This is terrible, at Oxford all of the societies will send you weekly emails with events etc, but here nothing like this exists, so convenience won over my deep conviction that Facebook is not great.
But after just over a month, I know why I left.
I found people are terribly insufficient when you try to sort out something via Facebook. It just takes absolutely ages to arrange meetings, divide the workload or generally do anything. Emails are so much faster, probably because they appear much more formal and people actually think before sending anything off. And this is absolutely fantastic.
And people just spend hours refreshing the home page, as if something fantastic was bound to happen. And it isn't, I promise. The saddest thing that I've seen was when I was in a restaurant and the couple sitting at the table next to ours spend the entire time we've been there with eyes glued to their phones. I honestly don't know where this world is going.
I really like this video, because it sums up what Facebook is really like. It simply makes you live other people's lives. Honestly, I don't get why people keep posting pictures on Facebook for instance. Pictures of food, pictures from holidays, pictures from their weddings, picture from parties, funerals, funfairs, pictures of their babies, boyfriends, cats, mothers, pictures of their bedrooms, shoes and whatever else you can think of. Why? No one is interested! Except of people constantly scrolling down their home page, but even they are not genuinely interested, they just want to see stuff because they have not enough to do.
Just to put it straight, I'm not going to make some sort of a crusade against Facebook, the thing is on the way to a collapse anyway. Those who were to join already joined and more and more people leave. But for God's sake, get off your phone every now and then!
Found on Pinterest. So true.
Yes, so I left Facebook to have more freedom and be more attentive to life. And I am as a result, because if you tell me something and I don't listen, I can't look it up among your Facebook posts. And I consider this a blessing.
Efficient task management is an important. And I have an example of how not to do it.
So about a week ago I've sent out an email. The email had a form attached. The form had a mistake in it, so when I've realised that the next morning, I've sent another email, pointing out the mistake and enclosing another, this time correct, form. Having not received a reply, this morning I've sent another email, enclosing the form again. Just in case.
And this afternoon I received a reply. In fact, I received three replies.
So the first email said was in reply to my first email and the reply went along the lines that I've sent out a corrected form, so they will reply to the second email with the correct form, because there's no point in replying to this one.
The second email was to the point and dealt with my problem as explained in email one, but taking the corrected form from email two. It was quite a relief, but finally it looked that the issue can gain some momentum and be resolved.
And just as I thought this is all done and I'm all sorted, the the third email came just after the second one, saying that they have a backlog of about a week in emails, and this is why I had to wait for the reply in the previous email for a week.
So this was very efficient of them, given their backlog in emails, to reply to all my three emails within one afternoon using three separate emails. Someone seriously needs to reconsider the way work is organised in this office. I'm not at all surprised that they have a backlog of a week if they send multiple, absolutely useless replies to every single email their receive. Did you ever hear of prioritisation? It's an important skill. Better learn it.
I love how Amsterdam has a completely different feel than London for example. Or Warsaw. Or Berlin. It might be because of the canals, pretty buildings that survived hundreds of years or just an utterly international character of the city.
Amsterdam is so different from Leiden. Leiden is pretty, true, and really cosy, but it's a small town, let's face it. You cannot go around without bumping into someone you know. And it's great, but Amsterdam gives so much more opportunity to disappear somewhere for a few hours and just enjoying yourself. And, what is even better, Amsterdam does not feel that big at all. It still has little pretty streets, quiet cafes, lovely parks and everything that I'd dream of. And it's yet another place which actually feels like home, like kind of a place where I could live in the future. In one of those fantastic houses with big windows facing the canals, with fancy door knobs and a house cat. Not as if Leiden didn't have beautiful houses, but there's something about the atmosphere in Amsterdam that makes it really special.
Plus, Amsterdam is so much more varied than where I live now. Of course, there's an awful lot of international students in Leiden, but still the Dutch dominate. On the other hand, in Amsterdam you cannot walk five steps without hearing another language. And I love that, because I'm really used to an international environment. It's more interesting and more fun. And it does not feel that odd to be a foreigner myself. Actually, I felt quite in place there. ;)
Also, I do recommend going there with someone who knows the city: there are so many hidden gems there. Or you may want to just walk around and stumble across some of them by yourself...
Year abroad is such a time when you need to get out of your comfort zone and some try new things.
And so I did.
Starting with signing up to a salsa class, I've learnt to move my hips to the sides and in the shape of eights, I got used to being awkwardly close to strangers while dancing in pairs and in the meantime mastered the art of small talk.
And then I've joined a theatre club, because I've always wanted to and never really had time to commit to it. Given that I can squeeze all the required work into three days if I need to, I can with no regrets sacrifice over 6 hours a week for rehearsals. And so I became a co-director. Getting outside of my comfort zone is in full flow here since I have no excuses for not joining all the acting exercises and games. It's a big thing for me, because I'm self-conscious and really not comfortable with doing silly things. But hey-ho, I've ended up dancing on a chair and telling really weird stories last time, so there is some progress.
But of course this was not enough for me, so I've joined Zumba and now I jump around like crazy once a week. It makes me disgustingly sweaty, overly tired, gasping for air and ridiculously happy.
Also, I said yes to entrepreneurship and innovation, a subject that makes very little sense, but at least it's not law. I'm not entirely sure what benefits I'll draw out of it, but I can now make an elevator pitch, write a simple marketing plan and do other stuff that I had no idea about beforehand.
I'm not sure what else I say yes to this year, but I can't wait to see. I love it.
All the time I keep telling people that everything is fantastic, only to avoid hurting or worrying them.
But I don't need to be fine. I can allow myself to be completely shattered. To cry, moan, scream, throw pillows across the room, eat ridiculous amounts of chocolate (or dried cranberries as a healthier option), crawl under my duvet and hold tight onto my plush turtle.
It's fine to do so, because I don't need to be fine. I've realised that I hold problems, troubles and insecurities of so many people, that I can every now and then be human myself. And being human sometimes hurts, right?
