What quarter-life crisis?

One day I came across a TED talk on "quarter-life" crisis. Of course I've heard about mid-life crisis, but quarter-life crisis was a bit of novelty, so I listened with interest, and then I went off to do some more research, as you do, watching Youtube videos, reading blogs and articles, you name it. By the way, when you search quarter-life crisis on YouTube, it comes up with over 250,000 results, ranging from TEDtalks (yep, more than one on the topic), through vlogs, semi-educational videos to musicals (!). 

To put some definition onto this concept, a quarter-life crisis is apparently what hits twenty-somethings when they need to figure things out and "have it all together". 

I wonder where you find all these twenty somethings with everything figured out? Let me meet them! I have a couple of friends who are or will shortly be getting married, friends who do have jobs, but mostly don't plan long term careers in those professions. Many go through break up after break up and simply move on. It's life!

There is something deeply worrying about deeming ordinary life occurrences as a crises. Life is undoubtedly confusing and I think almost everybody is simply winging it 97% of the time, so saying that I'm in crisis simply because I'm looking for a job or not sure where I'll be moving to or where my relationship is going is an overstatement.

Gosh, I find life incredibly difficult, there is so much to think about, I forgot to pay council tax the other day and got a rather passive aggressive reminder in snail mail; and you need to budget and think about what to cook in the evening, I stress out about staying on the top of my housework (this never-disappearing pile of dirty dishes!) and even about making time for myself. How ridiculous is that! The thing is, life is like that and has always been. But in the grand scheme of things, all these worried don't matter that much.

I think that if you want to deal with "quarter-life crisis", or rather with normal occurrences in life of a young adult (which sometimes can be daunting) you need to things: perspective and good relationships. As to perspective, it is so easy to get caught up in all the problems that come up every day, but it is important to remember that at the end of the day many of those things will not be of any significance. A couple of years down the line the rubbish boyfriend will be almost forgotten and changing careers will be a normal course of things in your professional development. As to relationships, when you have somebody who you can talk to about everything that bothers you, that makes such a difference to your quality of life. Mr Magic is my emotional vent and I can cope with all the life events so much better knowing that he is on the other side of the wireless connection. It's an immense comfort to have the other half who is always ready to listen. But it can also be a friend or a parent, the premise is the same.

I don't think we should overindulge in naming ordinary life occurrences as crises. It appears to be a feature of modern times to over diagnose, over name and over react. Maybe instead we should embrace life as it is and just take it one day at the time as well as we can. Because most of us can deal with it all just fine.

Sunday Special: Seek First His Kingdom.

Last weekend, I went to my first Celebrate Conference. My mind, body and spirit could only take one day as opposed to the whole weekend this time, but I feel so blessed with the time I've spent praising the Lord, meeting lovely people, having so many interesting conversations and just really thinking deeply about my life and my faith. And I'm looking forward to catching up with the Conference recording's over the coming weekends (and revisiting the talks I've heard on Saturday). They will be a lot to take in.

What comes next is a selection of thoughts and reflections from myself and a variety of people met at the Conference.

The Loving Father.

The word father appear over 600 times in the Old Testament and almost 400 times in the New Testament. The only more frequently appearing words are God, Lord, Christ and Jesus. Clearly, Father is an important concept in Christianity. Yet somehow not emphasised enough. Christians strive to have a relationship with Jesus, but Jesus was all about having a relationship with the Father. When He taught us to pray, He taught us to say "Our Father, who art in Heaven".

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me." (John 14: 6)

So the Father is important, but there is something fundamental that everybody should understand. God is the Loving Father who created you out of this love. You are not a mistake, a glitch in a system or a coincidence. You have been thought through. In fact, God could not have imagined a world without you. You are an indispensable part of the creation.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. (Psalm 139: 13-14)

The Doors.

What do the doors to your hearts and your soul look like? Here's a painting by Holman Hunt, The Light of the World, with Jesus knocking on your door. The door might be covered with overgrowth, but He still wants to come in. But there is no handle on the outside. You can only open from the inside. It's your choice.

And here is my door. With a handle on the inside. And a door chain. Though the chain is off now. So the doors can be easily opened. Oh, and the peephole. That's important for my security, just looking out who's outside, and what He wants. I would like to move beyond that to the open door stage, but I need a little more time and encouragement.

Pray like a punk.

There is place for quiet contemplative prayer, for adoration and for reflection. But sometimes, your prayer must get loud, forceful and almost angry. One of my favourite parts of the Bible is when Jesus drives the merchants out of the temple. He throws the tables over, shouts at the people, has this burning rage on his face. And this passion for the Father is what I am talking about when I talk about praying like a punk. Get lost in the Spirit. Invoke the power of the Name of Jesus.

The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.” (Luke 10:17)

And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover. (Mark 16:17-18)

Christians should be so bold about their prayer, because Jesus has given us such a privilege when He let us invoke His Name. It's not something restricted to the religious. Call on the Name of Jesus. He yearns to respond to your call. 

Abandon yourself.

This might sound a little contradictory to my previous reflection, but  when you abandon yourself completely to the Lord, your life becomes much simpler and all of a sudden everything falls into place. You need to call up to the Lord, but at the same time have total trust that He will keep His promise. 

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:14)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

I am constantly amazed by the power of this abandonment. When I feel stuck, I pray "Jesus, I abandon myself to you, Jesus, You take over." We shouldn't worry, because we do have a loving Father and He takes care of everything. Nothing is too big for Him. Nothing is too little. God will take care of your troubles, whatever they are. Just place them at the foot of the Cross. Everything has come to its fulfillment at the Cross. 

~~~

Seek First His Kingdom. Everything else second class.