16 days without cake.

Day 1

I wake up in the morning not remembering that it will be the most dreadful 16 days of the year. My new resolution only comes back to me when I sit at the library desk. Across from me: jam doughnuts. I squeeze my coffee cup and pretend they're not there.

Day 2

I'm not impressed by the presence of jaffa cakes on the teat able. I ignore them completely. Hummus transforms from my lunch into my afternoon snack. Doughnuts still across from me on the table, so I moved them further down, not to have the packet within the reach of my sight. I'm actually quite proud of myself already, even though it's only the second day.

Day 3

At breakfast it occurred to me that I might as well make some use of my resolution and offer it for someone. Special intention goes up to the heavens. I'm no longer moved by the sight of doughnuts.
In the afternoon walnut and chocolate fudge cakes arrived in the library. I put them both on the other side of the table behind a stack of books. It feels like the blessing of a library in which I can eat is overtaken by the curse of overwhelming quantities of cake.

Day 4

I brace myself with a banana and two tangerines. To avoid any temptations involving cake. It's going well, so more bananas and tangerines end up in my kitchen.

Day 5

I feel so depressed with my revision that I give in to a piece of walnut cake. It's so disappointing that I resolve not to eat more cake for the remaining 11 days.

Day 6

It's Sunday, so during my trip to London I find a proper Italian gelateria and eat a scoop of ice cream of some unidentifiable flavour. I think it was something along the lines of white chocolate and caramel. Who cares if it was simply delicious?

(Survived Day 7)

Day 8

Apparently the key to a successful diet is to be gentle with yourself, so I give in to three tiny pieces of Manner Wafers. Only a part of it is that today my productivity levels are at their lowest and I need to occupy my brain with some activity, so it might as well be digesting.

Day 9 + Day 10

Yet again doughnuts end up in the library. It seems like there is doughnut production line in the basement here. Cheeky as I am, I decide that 85% chocolate is not cake, so  when depressive mood hits in the library I eat a piece. It doesn't boost my mood at all, so chocolate ends up in the kitchen cupboard, will be used for some cake once I have time to make it. I find a wonderful recipe for red wine chocolate cake.

BTW, I'm actually quite proud of myself, I've never realised how much strong will I have in store. Wish I had it when it comes to other things.

(Who remembers what happened on Day 11?)

Day 12

After 11 hours of sleep I need sugar, so little cheesecake ends up on the lunch menu. I think I counteracted it with healthy carrots and hummus.

Day 13

Sunday. I start a day with a good breakfast. Traditionally, blueberry pancakes and a cup of coffee. I already know this will be a good day. Without any cake. Instead, healthy salad for lunch, spinach pesto spaghetti for dinner and smoothie as a desert. Morning run ends abruptly when I get a stitch, I make up for it with half an hour of pilates. Muscles hurt, but it feels good. And there isn't much law to do today either, what else would I want from life? I don't even crave anything sweet today, which is a novel feeling. I'm not even tempted by the bar of chocolate in my cupboard. Not at all. It could even sit on the kitchen counter, it wouldn't move me an inch.

Days 14-16

My strong will has completely disintegrated at the end of the challenge (chocolate tray bake and cookies in the library don't help), but hey, I've actually managed to keep away from cake for so long, that I should be proud of myself. It was difficult, but now it's been proved that sugar is not an essential part of my life. 

I can do without sugar and treat myself only so often. It's quite a freeing experience to be honest. And I've been much more kind to my body, really thinking what I put in it. But for now, I'm off to baking. Next challenge next week.

My take on the abortion row in Poland.

Polish government apparently wants to toughen abortion law and people are protesting against it.

I would protest too, but for very different reasons.

I'm pro life and think that human life is sacred.  I wish I lived in the world where abortion does not happen and where no mother chooses to kill her baby. But we live in a different world where women and pushed to abort their babies for one reason or another.  And they will continue to do so whether abortion is allowed or not. So the choice is not between the world where abortion happens and the world where it doesn't. The choice is between the world where abortion happens, but we show women clearly that they have a number of choices and when they choose to have abortion at least this is done safely and the world where women need to go to the underground and thus risk serious complications, lack of support and potentially years of guilt.

I don't believe toughening the law is the way to stop abortion happening. We should rather be there for women who are in an extremely vulnerable state, ready to listen and help. I know women invest a lot during the nine months of pregnancy and it's often not easy to go through both physically and emotionally. And yet I believe this is not so much compered with how it can hurt after you kill your baby.

Instead of banging on about what an evil abortion is the Polish Church should really concentrate on what alternatives to abortion is. Fundacja Małych Stópek (literally "Little Feet Foundation) does some excellent work making a real difference to women who choose not to have an abortion. We need more initiatives like that instead of marginalising women in life situations which you wouldn't like to find yourself in. We need more men ready to take responsibility for their babies. I think men can play such a big role in reducing the number of abortions. Not by lobbying to toughen abortion laws: rather by taking responsibility for the life their created. Men are so often left out of the picture in the abortion debate, but pregnancy takes two people. And both of them should behave like adults. Leaving the burden on a woman and a woman only means that the choice she has to make is even more difficult.

Food for the Journey. Forgiveness

"Words of forgiveness do not annihilate the past, but they can make even the barren wilderness of our lives blossom again."