Time confetti

http://verilymag.com/contaminated-time-and-the-rediscovery-of-leisure/

I've actually purchased the book that the interview is about. Because I really do identify with the author. My life a string of time confetti, if you can call it so. It's busy.

I'm a girl who stayed up to bake a coconut bread that I've promise a week earlier. I would say yes when someone asks me to run a fairtrade breakfast on a Sunday morning even though it is a lay-in day and I planned something else already. I would have a friend over for a cup of tea even if my essay is long overdue, my parents are frantically trying to reach me on the phone to discuss summer plans and

And yet, I'm reasonably happy. I mean, I find time for over 2 hours of swimming a week. I take evenings off (mostly) and (usually) refuse to work on Sundays. Anyway, so I thought before I've started digging into the book. Compared to other people that I know, I don't have such a bad attitude, surely?

I paused and pondered on it. I thought about all these times when I prided myself with juggling million functions at the same time. When I thought I was brilliant because I was able to complete all my work days and hours before everyone else only to carry on some additional research or starting the new project. Times when I thought that something is clearly wrong when I had nothing to do and other times when I felt terribly guilty for not doing anything productive after work.

I have terrible amounts of free time here and there. 20 minutes between getting ready for work and leaving the house. 7 minutes while I walk to the station. 35 minutes once I've finished eating lunch. These are relatively long stretches of time, but what meaningful can you do in 20 minutes? My time confetti, scattered around the day.

Funnily enough, I read the book about being overwhelmed with things to do on the Tune or in a bus or while eating quick dinner since I have no time to sit down and just read it. Paranoid.

But it is not only my leisure, so to say, time that is scattered. It's also work time that lacks structure. I engage in a number of tasks at any one time. I search for tax law in Jersey, translate a piece from Polish to English, check email and write up a report. Keep calm, I'm in control of it all. And though at the end of the day everything, somewhat is pain, gets done, it would be much better just to take it one thing at the time. Great as I may feel juggling so much (and it does make me feel like I'm a pro), it's not healthy for the brain.

Aim for next week: gather together the confetti and make a beautiful flower out of it. We all deserve the time to smell roses.

Beauty uncovered

Have you ever seen one of those cosmetic bags?

When I first saw one of these I laughed, but really, this just hit the point.

I put progressively less make up on my face as I grow older. Liquid fluid has been exchanged for a mineral powder foundation. But when I think about the amount of stuff I used to put on my face a couple of years ago, it's absolutely horrifying.

And it's all because of my insecurities. So much easier to cover up and than to accept myself. Downside to the make up is that it covers all my freckles and I absolutely love them. And it takes time! (though I've mastered the art of putting full make up on in max 7 minutes) And guys sometimes can't even tell the difference. 

Coming back to the bag, isn't it quite offensive anyway? As if my face as it is was not good enough. But it is, for goodness sake! It might not be perfect, my nose my be slightly too big, my eyes too small and skin to pinkish, but it does the job! My nose can smell, my eyes see properly (well, relatively) and my skin keeps the germs away from the inside of my body. What else could I want? As they say, there's a nut for every bolt, so why worry?

Wake up tomorrow morning, look into the mirror and say to yourself: "I'm beautiful." Without putting your face on. It's already there. And it's perfect.

Sunday Special: Little Poland

I've never understood the idea of, so to say, 'national' churches. I mean, a Polish/Spanish, Korean parish in the middle of another country.

I can understand a general idea of having mass in English, since everyone speaks it and and I guess this is the way to make a liturgy more understandable and so on. But having a national parish? No, no, no.

I've gone to a mass in a Polish church here, and it was through and through Polish. 

Don't get me wrong, I love Poland. But this was so exclusive.Why do we need a church for Polish speakers only? They do live in an English-speaking country. They do speak English, communicate in this language on a daily basis. Why on earth, then, do they need a Polish parish church?

I don't buy into this thing about cultivating the Polish culture, staying close to your national traditions and not losing you identity. There are so many different ways to do that. And the Church should be universal, not segregated into different nationalities.

And so I went out of the church with a feeling of confusion. I've spent an hour in a room filled down to top with Polish people. Strange and discomforting. Outside the door waited London, where it didn't matter what country you come from. Re-entering into a real world from this little Polish island was truly a relief.

It seems like I cannot handle such a concentration of Polishness in one place. I think I moved from 'Look at me! I'm Polish!' to 'I have this whole baggage of being Polish with me, take what you will'. 

No more Polish masses for me then. At least I've tried.